I take care of my Mom, is there a way I can get paid for this? - AgingCare.com

I take care of my Mom, is there a way I can get paid for this?

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I am not sure the parallelism that you propose totally holds up.

When our parents raised us they did not usually look for financial assistance because most parents had jobs that brought in money and some were able to save up and/or invest toward retirement. In some families is takes both parents working to just make ends meet and that is not always because they are living too high and too deeply in debt. It cost a lot of money to raise children and sometimes it takes two jobs that accomplish that. Many of these parents do not expect their children to one day be their free caregivers. They did not view the reason for having children as their future caretakers in old age. Those parents who did not have jobs lived on the financial assistance of welfare and food stamps.

However, adult children who take on the challenge of caregiving often sell homes, give up jobs or careers sometimes years before even being close to retirement as well as often end up spending all of their savings as well as any retirement that they had built up, plus sometimes even their marriages dissolve. Then, they have the challenge of trying to finding a job when their parents die which is very difficult because of being out of the workforce so long and being older because people very often want to hire younger people. Their physical and emotional health too often is in sad shape by that time also. .By the time their parents die, the money they had saved up was also spent on their care with the result that their is not any inheritance at the end of the road. Pursuing an inheritance is never a good reason for caregiving because it will very likely all get spent or extremely little will be left. What I am saying is that it is highly likely that at the end of the road there will not be any financial reward for giving up all those years of working and risking reaching the end penniless and homeless.

On the other hand there are adult children caring for their parents or grandparents utilizing their assets they saved up for their latter years either at home with hired extra caregivers, in assisted living, a nursing home or a memory care unit in a nursing home. They keep their jobs, homes and marriages in tack plus some raise children who have not left home yet. When the parent's or grandparent's money is almost gone they apply for medicaid.

I'm not saying that adult children should not care for their parents in their old age. What I am saying is that there is more than one way to do it and consideration needs to be given to the caregiver's financial well-being and health as well as the care and safety of the elderly parent or grandparent. I don't think it is right for parents or society or whoever to expect adult children to totally sacrifice their entire life and livelihood in taking care of elderly parents and grandparents.

About the only reward that there is comes from knowing that you did the best you could in caring for an elderly parent or grandparent or did the best you could in overseeing and using their resources in seeing that they were safe and cared for.

One way that an adult child can get paid for taking care of an elderly parent is for there to be written agreement between them that is signed saying they will be paid so much a month by the parent in return for caregiving services which are listed in the contract in detail. Other than that, I don't know how a person can get paid for it.
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You may not be paid, but you will certainly be rewarded. When your mum brought you up, financial assistance was not a priority for her. Seeing you grow up, making sure you were healthy and well at ease was what mattered to her. There comes a day when all of us might seek care, and we will appreciate the care of those who are dearest to us, our offspring who, as a sign of gratitude, may willingly take good care of us.
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Go up to Money and Legal and click on paying for care
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