Tablebutable Asked May 2018
Is there a way I can financially help my mom?
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Hi, is there a way I can financially help my mom? Dad left us 3 years ago. Since it happened mom started to drink. She lost her work and she doesn't want to find another one. I will probably sell this phone to buy food. I can't sell everything because of her. What should I do? No one wants to help us. It's hard and I can't even part time work because of my age.
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I read your post several times and if I understand correctly you are either in high school or junior high if you are too young to work. You state that no one wants to help you. Who have you asked? Was it other family members?
What you are experiencing is too much for you to face at your age, and it sounds as if your mother is depressed and is self-medicating with alcohol. Though you can understand her pain, she is not being a proper mother to you right now. A mother’s number one responsibility is to protect her child, and she seems incapable of that right now. She may get better one day, and be a good mother to you, but you can’t make her stop drinking. Only she can do that.
Please go to the guidance counselor at your school and tell her what you have just told us, especially about having no food. She will know what to do and will take it from there. You need adults in your life right now to take over and help you through this situation. Tomorrow, tell your teacher at school that you need to see the counselor. Also, look up Alateen online. It is a group that helps young people who have been affected by another’s drinking. Read some of their stories, call the number provided and see if you can get a ride to a meeting. I have already prayed for you. I know it’s late and you may already be asleep, but if not, sleep well tonight. There is hope.
When you wrote this post late last night, you were seaching for help and found this website, so you must know that this is not how a normal 16 year old’s life is supposed to be. It is not too late for you, especially as you could get services up until you are 18. I think Social Services and the local school district are who you need to call. Talk to an adult who deals with minor children to get the ball rolling. Yes, your mother could be in trouble, but she is in trouble now. How is the rent being paid? Where is money for food coming from? Electricity?
I see you are ready to live somewhere else. I think that would be the best. You have missed out on your education for three years, and you need to get those three years back. I know it doesn’t seem like it, but your education means the difference between being able to take care of yourself in the future or living in poverty. So, go back to school! Whatever it takes. And you are not too young to get a part-time job. Many young people go to school and keep a part-time job. Do you want to know the recipe for success in school and your job? “Suit up and show up!”. This means you go to school every day. You study, pay attention, do your homework. You show up to your job at the times they have given you, and let them know that they can count on you. At your job, you work hard and are willing to keep learning more. This “suit up and show up” works for a job at McDonalds or a corporatte lawyer. I know a young man who had many family and personal problems. He started working part-time at a fast-food restaurant when he was 16. Since he was 25, he has been managing three restaurants. This has enabled him to buy a house, marry, support 2 children, and have health insurance. He is no smarter than many people you know, but he consistently showed up for work, worked hard when he was there, and learned more about the business.
Did you contact Alateen? It is a wonderful group. Let us know how you are doing. Don’t be afraid to make changes in your life. There is more - much more to life.