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My loved one tested positive for Covid, and I am distraught. It took 48 hours before the nursing home notified me. The first positive case was declared on Monday. I was not notified until Wednesday (Thanksgiving Eve) which makes me angry. Also, my loved one is asymptomatic but was moved into a room where the other person is infected with Covid and showing severe symptoms.


On top of that, my loved one was moved from her unit into a dementia lockdown unit where the Covid first began (because there were no isolation rooms available). There is very little air circulation in the dementia unit, the windows are locked so will not open. I've learned from a CNA that all the staff in the dementia unit tested positive and Covid is spreading like a wildfire throughout the building. (Most of the staff in the facility have tested positive).


I know some will think it is crazy to expect a level of care that will sustain her life, but it has been 5 days since she has been up and out of bed. Over Zoom, she looked weak and tired -- hair was not combed, and she still had on her nightgown at 3P in the afternoon. Not because she is too weak to sit up but because they do not have enough staff to get her out of bed every day. Updates have been slow, 3 days went by where I heard nothing, When we do call, we receive vague comments. I still do not know the numbers of the outbreak, but believe it is higher than 40.


I've left messages for the DON and the Administrator.. no response. And the phones lines just ring and ring (no answer) which tells me they do not have enough staff.


Is there a time limit when Nursing Homes are required to notify families and is it wrong of me to expect a level of care that prevents pneumonia, bed sores, and UTIs in the midst of this Covid outbreak?


I am trying to be patient, knowing they are all under stress. But I am under stress too. I am terrified. I do not want my loved one to die due to lack of care. What is reasonable? Even her doctor who saw her today says that the nursing home must get her up every day to prevent pneumonia, pressure wounds, and UTI infections.


I am scared, filled with fear and apprehension and concern for my loved one. Any advice with be MUCH appreciated or a life line to deal with this unbelievable stress.

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anonymous, this past May my MIL's facility was hit for the first time with covid. It is a normally very well-run facility. But once they started to become short-staffed from employees having covid, there were no replacements at the ready because they'd have to go through the quarantine first. Just prior to their outbreak the admin was trying to communicate with us daily and adjusting to FaceTime calls with our LO's, figuring out the PPE thing, etc. Then things went dark for quite a while and we knew it must be chaos in there. They had to create an entire wing of their building for the covid residents. The amount of work this took under exhausting conditions is unimaginable. At one point they had 1 RN to 16 elderly and very sick covid patients. They had to change their full PPE every time we wanted to talk on the phone with MIL for 2 minutes because she was too weak to hold it to her ear. MIL was very sick for 4 weeks (she was on hospice on week 4) but she did fully recover and just came off of hospice at the end of Nov.

This is probably what's going on in your LO's facility right now. The best thing you can do is to support the essential workers and not hound them -- they can't accommodate you right now. Imagine it's not just you but the families of every single resident calling and emailing them all day every day. Call and leave a message asking how you can support them: by bringing lunches? by providing PPE? anything? We were able to donate a few hundred face shields and they were extremely grateful.

Now covid came back into her facility in Nov but this time they were more ready for it and there were hardly any infections and no deaths. I'm so sorry for all the anxiety and distress you are rightfully having, but there is honestly no solution for it. Just be supportive of the staff and facility -- that's what will help your LO. I wish you peace in your heart as you wait.
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I am so dreadfully sorry. We are in the middle of a pandemic. Currently in our country someone is dying every ONE MINUTE. Nursing homes and any place where people are gathered together are especially hard hit. Staff is going down along with patients. I know that you know all that. And I know you are frantic for the one you love. Our hospitals are full. We may be looking at triage soon in our future. You are right to be full with dread.
The simple fact is that they cannot spend time on the phone now addressing your fears. Right now they are going to be scrambling. I have heard of two incidents on NPR where people actually went into the homes of their loved ones, one to work in kitchen and one in laundry, for FREE, so they could be there to help their loved ones and others. If you have other family at home this is likely not an option for you.
I dearly wish I could tell you there is an answer for all this. I don't know how many they have to man the phones; you can imagine that every single person they talk to is as distraught as you are. It really doesn't matter what the answer is. Let us suppose there IS a law about the time in which they needed to notify. What could be done about any of that now? What would be the answer to that?
I am just so sorry for you. My own bro died in an ALF in May, not of Covid, but due to lockdown I could not be with him in hospital or ALF even were I to feel I could fly to his town. I understand. The best man ever in my life for ALL of my life, the Hansel to my Gretel in the dark woods of life died without me, with a Hospice nurse and a phone between us.
Do know that if she is positive, the fact she is with another patient who is symptomatic is unlikely to give her symptoms beyond those she may already be headed . Used to say day 5-10 the most worrisome, but I think more and more we are seeing how unpredictable the virus is for everyone. Please know while they may be unable to speak on phone with you, that that time may be spent measuring pulse oximetry. Nurses and other staff in our ECFs and our Hospitals are scrambling, desperate, trying to keep patients heads above the water.
I don't know what to tell you to comfort you. Everyone in our nation right now, who is going through this is in despair. I hope you will update us. I send all the positive thoughts I can muster to you.
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Geaton777 Dec 2020
Alva it makes me so sad to read about the circumstances when you lost your brother. Peace to you.
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