I take care of my MIL. She's an uncontrolled diabetic as well as an alcoholic and recovering drug addict. She is also a heart patient having uncontrolled high blood pressure 2 heart attacks and a stroke this year alone. She had heart disease and chf and she is on renal dialysis. We have to fight with her to take a bath, wash her hair, change her depends everyday. She sneak and steals sugar food when I am asleep. She sneaks and buys candy and vodka and hides food in her room and has recently taking to throwing out her medicine. She yells at me, her son , and calls her grandson obseen names. She went a month refusing to eat more then a cup of food a day and hides dirty dishes in her dirty clothes. I have gotten roaches from the food she hides not just in her room but in hall closets and bathroom cabinets. She does forget little things like a phone number or where she sat her comb but nothing important or major. I personally feel she is medically incompetent but I'm not sure.

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I’m trying to wrap my head around your situation.
Your MIL is an out of control addict by your description.
She sounds like she believes her greatest problem is her family.
The living arrangement doesn’t appear to be working. So sad for all of you.

Alcoholics and out of control diabetics often seem incompetent. Their brains are hijacked. If your MIL were sober and had her diet under control she might appear quiet normal. A big “if” I know.
How long has it been?

Its very sad that she has so much wrong at such a young age. Has she been to rehab? What has worked? For her to be a recovering drug user she must have had some success. Was that long ago that she stopped the drugs, a recent change?

Has she seen a psychiatrist or neurologist?

I want to say, let her do as she wishes. Stop the drama. But she has so much wrong, I can see why that’s hard for you to do. But again. What she is doing now, doesn’t seem to be working.
Helpful Answer (1)

Uncontrolled HBP and diabetes. History of 2 heart attacks and a stroke, CHF, renal dialysis (I'm surprised she sits still for that) ...even though she's only 66, she's in very bad health & could be headed for an early demise. Have her evaluated by a doctor and she may qualify for long term care in NH.
Helpful Answer (5)

I have to ask how does she "sneak" and buy candy and vodka? Does she actually leave the house and go to the store or is someone in the family supplying her?
At 66 years old she has a lot going on.
You should have her evaluated. It does sound like there is some dementia but it might be from her many health problems. She may also be having "mini strokes" due to the diabetes and the alcohol.
If there is something going on you / your husband will have to obtain Guardianship in order to care for her properly. From what you have described I would not want her living in my home.
Helpful Answer (4)
Pinkiepie Jul 2020
She sneaks out of dialysis either before she's out on machine or after she taken off to the liquor store next to the place
It may be time to get a hospice consult. Number 1 is she is an alcoholic who has not hit rock bottom. So stop helping her try to make good decisions. It is obvious that she needs medications for her memory problems. You might just wait for another hospitalization. From there you can tell the social worker she is no longer safe in your home. This is true because you are much in over your heads.
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