In my search for normal, I've explored many therapies 2 address my guilt, failures, & anxiety. My (late) dear friend Lucy had warned me to see only 'God fearing' therapists, (who include our spiritual needs, in treatment). Anyway, I found a lovely piece she had saved, (from her darker days), & offer it here: (edited).
"...self-condemnation turns off our awareness of God's love, & we have painful, unnecessary, torment, rooted in our own deeds, & failures.
Instead of immersing in God's gift of 'total acceptance through Christ' , immersing in self doubt, & fearful thots become a prison. We cannot escape this with help from mere man. Freedom starts with repenting of forgetting about God, & start to fill myself again with thots of His works instead: (Christ's atoning death for all the world). Everyday, I can search His Word, & get comfort: remind myself that I'm not the Savior: & failing my LOs can't separate me from God's choice to love me. His joy of having me as His own, is a real thing. God chose to pay my FULL price, (by Christ's death, burial & resurrection). I need not be perfect, (I can never satisfy God myself). But I smile again, & condemnation goes, by trusting that I'm still good with God, (even on my worst day). Because Christ's atonement has eternal value with God, & cannot be overpowered by my sins."
[I shared this now cuz soon is the anniversary of Lucy's death, & prob I just got sappy thinking about her]. Hope not to have offended anyone.
I am well aware that I am but a human being and don't consider us anything very special. We are, for me, another animal vying for territory and breeding rights. Perhaps one of the most intelligent, but sadly one of the most vicious. While capable of empathy, we often choose for our own reasons, which we're excellent at rationalizing, not to practice it at all.
As a human, I am aware of my limitations. I'm good at some things, poor at others. Given that I tend not to pass judgements on others. I feel my Dad was likely correct in saying that most people are simply out to live a decent life and take care of their families the best they are able.
I love religious theory and am well read on it, including the bible. Love the architecture and the preservation of history and libraries that has been fostered by those of faith over time. I enjoy friends who are religious in practicing one or another faith.
I am afraid I don't understand "guilt" and "self-condemnation" very much unless we have committed unspeakable acts with the purpose of hurting another.
I enjoy our human differences at the same time I may find them somewhat trying.
Interesting subject you bring up. The advice of friends in how one should "do therapy" is interesting, but not always "right for you". Good luck finding what works well for you. I have done therapy several times in times of grief and confusion and found the therapist that works best for me is the one who upsets my apple cart, and sets me thinking. It is always uncomfortable, never with an easy answer. When you want to RUN, it may mean you have found the right one, the one who will really make you take a look at yourself.
I seldom condemn myself, but think in terms of mistakes I can correct. The more I accept myself, the more I am able to accept others and their mistakes. (Of course, this varies with my mood, wellness, etc. like the tide.)
God doesn't make things happen, he is there to help us get thru it. He allowed us free will so cannot control anothers actions. He can just help us deal with the consequences of that person's actions. Help us forgive and move on.
That eventually drove me from Catholicism, and, many years later, to the Lutheran Church. They teach that I am saved by Jesus’s sacrifice and the grace of God. (Makes it a lot easier to be good, not having a gun held to my head.)
There are many who were abused the name of Faith. I have a dear friend who is in therapy in her 50’s after her church community failed her and embraced the abuser. Faith based therapy will not help her now.
Tiger, I fully support you to find your recovery through the modalities that work for you. You deserve peace.
Me, I have a secular therapist who will bring spirituality into our seasons. The healing of our souls is as important as the healing of our psyche, and there are many ways to do that.
It is important for each of us to share what works for us. The church may not help me or my friend, but the passage may bring comfort to others.