Mom, 79, lives in a memory care facility. She also has co-morbid bipolar disorder. I get a call from the facility doctor and he says mom is refusing hygiene and has developed incontinence sores from dirty diapers. His recommendation is she go on hospice which I think is a bit unusual. This would be hospice #3 in the past 7 years. I believe they are wanting to take the liability off their staff and place it on hospice. I am traveling down in a few weeks to assess her. Past refusals of hygiene usually mean a new caregiver is annoying her, or they are giving her caffeine soda. This facility likes to give ultimatums if I push back though, like we will kick her out if you don't agree to this. Should I just agree to not rock the boat? She's DNR.
Hospice gives another layer of help, keeps your mom from having to go to the hospital and perhaps will help her with any pain she might be in due to her condition. If she has been on hospice two times before you know how hospice works.
If she passes while on hospice there is a different protocol. Ask hospice to explain this to you so you can be prepared.
Why would you push back? Your poor mom must be in misery.
I’m sorry she is in the condition.
Some facilities are better than others when it comes down to treatment. Is the memory care facility even set up to handle the dual diagnosis of bipolar disorder being layered on top of the dementia? And now they want hospice involved? How is this going to work any better for your mom's behalf? My first question is how are they going to handle the hygiene issue and the sores?
For many of these places, it is all about the money and not helping the patient. This sounds like pure neglect on their part. There are ways of getting a client or resident cleaned up instead of letting them wallow in their soiled briefs and soiled bed linen.
I would go with the hospice suggestion. At least they can prescribe pain medications and provide the comfort your mom needs at this point in her life.
Patient's have a right to dignity and cleanliness.
The longer you wait , the worse those sores would get . I always found going in person got more results from staff.
Going in person asap would also give you a better view of how much she has declined in general . I would go now and see her in person . You may end up thinking this is the actual time for Hospice and keeping her comfortable may be the best . Or you may decide to move her to another facility .
Either way I don’t think Hospice is a bad idea , no matter what facility she is in .
This is the system at work.
At some point it really isn't important to you whether they get in this extra help or not. They are working the system I would imagine; in that you're right. I am so sorry this dreadful quality of life is so ongoing. It's very sad in fact that this may NOT be the end. I surely do wish I had some answer and am certain in that we ALL feel the same.
It won't cost you anything, and the benefits for mom are many. Follow the facility doctor's advice. There's no downside for mom or you.
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