My brother has POA for our mother. He lives in Florida and our mother NJ. Is my brother able to charge airfare every time he travels to NJ for himself and his WIFE too?
Speaking as the wife of a POA, I helped my MIL, now deceased, and my FIL more than their other sons and their wives combined. I never once charged mileage on my car for transportation, for example. I just did it without giving the cost of wear and tear on my vehicle any thought. Frankly, I would be insulted if my husband were asked for documentation as to what I did that benefited his parents or helped my husband help his parents. Unless they're flying first class, I would not say a word to your brother about it.
What does the POA say? POA is almost always allowed to reimburse the expenses they incur while handling their POA duties. And it has to be a reasonable amount. I think it can be argued both ways whether Or not it’s reasonable to reimburse the cost of his wives airfare. But again, first thing to check is the POA and see if it addresses this specific cost.
As said, it really depends what's in the POA agreement. IMO, maybe for your the POA. Since that benefits your mom. I don't see how it could possibly be for the POA's spouse. How does that benefit your mom?
It benefits mom if the OPs brother requires assistance—if he’s got physical disabilities or something that him to have assistance while traveling. That’s why I said it could be argued both ways.
Joeanne by all means take legal advice, that's a very good idea; but to start off on the right foot remember that this is all about your *mother's* rights, not yours.
Is wife assisting bro and how? I would request that whatever they are both doing be documented. But, be prepared for this to cause quite a rift, open a can of worms Pandora box.....Ask yourself is it really worth it?
Would your mother expect (or have expected) him to visit her without his wife?
I can't see any of the regulators I've ever had any contact with taking your brother to task over this. What do you think should happen? - that your brother's wife should pay her own air fare?
Does he pay your travelling expenses when you travel for your mother's benefit? He should do. If you're running errands on her behalf or going long distances to see her, ask him about it.
I have never asked for any money. I pay for a ferry, tolls and gas. It’s just not my make up to charge my mother for me to visit. My brother just charged 195.00 for a car service😳 he lives 30 miles from the airport, he could rent a car for 50.00... n on .. n on. iMHO he is breaking his fiduciary responsibilities
How much does your brother & his wife do for your mother?
Does your SIL & brother take off work to go to take care of mom in another state?
I agree with worried, is it that big of a deal? Maybe SIL provides support to your brother.
You say you don’t know what kind of POA your brother is. Is your mother taken care of - meaning her bills being paid by POA, taxes, etc? It sounds like she is.
What kind of financial state is your brother and SIL? It can be a hardship for them to travel. What if your brother needs his wife with him for support? If your mother has financial assets and she chose brother to be POA knowing he lives far away then she must absorb the costs for his travel. The POA has a wife and they are a unit.
NJ to Florida is at most 3 hour trip via air. Flying is not cheap.
IMO there is nothing wrong with this. If her (SIL) airfare is cleaning out your mom’s assets yes then I would complain.
Have you spoke with your mother about this? What does she say?’Have you discussed this with your brother yet? If no, why not? Ask him to fly coach- that you feel first class is not necessary.
Being POA can be hard work. Maybe SIL helps brother keep it all together.
My brother and SIL are both retired and live in a $750,000 house. I believe he does things to the extreme. I do think my mother, should pay for his airfare,car rental, gas tolls etc but if you can rent a car for $350, he will rent a more expensive one. Like I stated before they got a car service from the airport to their house in Fl for $195.00 where it costs $35 to $50 to rent a midsize car at the airport and drive yourself. They even charged $7.00 on my mothers card to send something in the mail. They sent her Christmas cookies for $26.00 and charged to her card. Changed the locks on the house, charged $160 on my mothers card and will not give anyone a key. My sons use to check my mothers house once a month to make sure the heat was on, no pipes had burst, my son even put a nest on the mantel, my brother has taken that down. My mother can not go in her own house. They just want total control. He believes because he is the POA he can do whatever he wants but his fiduciary responsibilities are not being met. Theses things are not in the best interest of our mother.
Behaviour like this does turn the stomach and I sympathise.
Doing something about it, though? - difficult, without rocking the boat to the extent that it would shake up your mother and make her uncomfortable, which you wouldn't want to do unless you really need to.
So: how is she? Looking at his responsibilities from her end, are her needs being met, is she secure, is she comfortable and content with the way her life is being run?
Is anyone in the family or close to it in a position to talk to your brother about this kind of disquiet, I suppose you'd call it, about his management of POA responsibilities?
I did sit back for the past and let him and his WIFE take total control cause I didn’t want to make waves, as they say, but when he locked all out of our mothers house, in clouding our mother, I decided I can’t sit back anymore. I am calling an attorney today to see what my rights are.
Sorry to say I’m not sure what kind of POA he is, he has taken total control. He traveled from Fl to Nj another 1200 flight, high class car rental, gas, tolls to go to CPA for 350.00 to do her taxes. Could have been done for 90.00 like the last 10 years of her life before she moved to assisted living
What is the concern about the plane fare anyway? Is it really that big of a deal?
I can't see any of the regulators I've ever had any contact with taking your brother to task over this. What do you think should happen? - that your brother's wife should pay her own air fare?
Does he pay your travelling expenses when you travel for your mother's benefit? He should do. If you're running errands on her behalf or going long distances to see her, ask him about it.
Does your SIL & brother take off work to go to take care of mom in another state?
I agree with worried, is it that big of a deal? Maybe SIL provides support to your brother.
You say you don’t know what kind of POA your brother is. Is your mother taken care of - meaning her bills being paid by POA, taxes, etc? It sounds like she is.
What kind of financial state is your brother and SIL? It can be a hardship for them to travel. What if your brother needs his wife with him for support?
If your mother has financial assets and she chose brother to be POA knowing he lives far away then she must absorb the costs for his travel. The POA has a wife and they are a unit.
NJ to Florida is at most 3 hour trip via air.
Flying is not cheap.
IMO there is nothing wrong with this. If her (SIL) airfare is cleaning out your mom’s assets yes then I would complain.
Have you spoke with your mother about this? What does she say?’Have you discussed this with your brother yet? If no, why not? Ask him to fly coach- that you feel first class is not necessary.
Being POA can be hard work. Maybe SIL helps brother keep it all together.
Generous man. Full of the spirit of the season.
Behaviour like this does turn the stomach and I sympathise.
Doing something about it, though? - difficult, without rocking the boat to the extent that it would shake up your mother and make her uncomfortable, which you wouldn't want to do unless you really need to.
So: how is she? Looking at his responsibilities from her end, are her needs being met, is she secure, is she comfortable and content with the way her life is being run?
Is anyone in the family or close to it in a position to talk to your brother about this kind of disquiet, I suppose you'd call it, about his management of POA responsibilities?
Is your brother both financial and medical POA. No need for financial to visit, what does he do when there.