Is not allowing your mother have access to her room all day in a facility, abuse? - AgingCare.com

Is not allowing your mother have access to her room all day in a facility, abuse?

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I work in memory care at a facility. One resident is locked out of her room daily, all day. She is miserable. All she wants to do is go in her room and lie down but her son won't allow it. He wants her to be social but the lady is so unhappy and constantly asks staff if they have her room key. She told me she wished she was dead. She is therefore forced to sit in the TV room or do activities, which she will sometimes participate in but mostly just sits in the TV room being miserable.

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Thank you all for your answers and advice!!
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I agree Lucky.
Quit smoking, don't drink, eat your veggies, get up when they tell you and stay in your bed all night whether you are sleepy or not, don't come to the dining room in you PJs, can't have your pets, and you have to watch inane TV shows and take part in activities whether you want to or not. And they have the nerve to insist it isn't an institution.... get real!
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I feel so sorry for this lady.I think she should be able to relax in her own room and take a nap or whatever she wants.I believe it's called "Live,and Let Live" and no one can change another person,especially at that age.
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Family can dictate pretty much what they want..we had a family member call our facility stating they were coming in to see mother. They wanted mother up and dressed. She was already settled in for the night. CNA had to get the sit to stand lift get Mothers dress and pantyhose on and in her wheelchair before family got there.
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I don't think it would probably be abuse, but I do think the facility administrator or director needs to step in and let the son know his Mom's feelings and need. Sometimes family just don't understand the situation. Sometimes they may feel "I'm paying all this money she better be up and involved in everything!!"
I suggest you and other staff address this issue with the administrator and ask for and expect his/her involvement. Until then, why don't you and other staff see
if you can't come up with some way to follow her sons demand and yet meet her need for some quiet time. How about a sofa or a recliner placed in a quiet place where she can have a nap or be alone. Let her consider it "her place". Be creative, I'll bet if you put your heads together you, the staff, can come up with something. Don't waste your energy being angry with the son. Use your energy being creative and help this lady have some peace and quiet!
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This is probably not a legal issue. It's a policy issue which is complicated by a relatives directive. You are an employee. Your only recourse is to take up your concerns with your immediate supervisor. Trying to be a locker room lawyer could cost your your job.
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Is it illegal for a memory care facility to keep a resident locked out of her room during the day, per the family's orders?
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You work at the facility, right? What does your supervisor say about it? Do they have a policy about it? Do you have a Resident Care Coordinator? What is their position? Since you are not a family member, I'm not sure who you might go to. There are some people on this site who have worked in that area before. I hope they will chime and offer more info. Sorry, I couldn't help more.
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Sunnygirl: thanks for your answer. Who would I ask about legality?
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cwillie: that's what I was thinking!! I feel so bad for her and I will report him if this falls under elderly abuse. And the facility!!
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