My mom (74) with dementia tends to soil the fingers with feces while defecating. Today, l noticed she had spread it below the left eye, the smear looking like a scratch, and the fingers were stained, too. And this incident turned out to be from yesterday, of which my father said he wasn’t aware at all.
Of all the chores, my father (77), who lives with mom, does only some simple cooking and the dishes for both. The rest is covered by my siblings and me.
I have asked my father a couple of times to try to be a bit more attentive when mother goes to the bathroom, in order not to let her insert fingers in feces - they use a squatting toilet. And, also, that he should from time to time check out her hands & fingers, just in case.
While l know that he cannot be after mom each and every second, l was wondering if my request that he try to be a bit more vigilant when mom is in the bathroom, and immediately notify one of us if she soils herself, is reasonable or not?
(On a side note, l should say that father is obsessed about watching TV - the news and other political talk shows almost around the clock.)