My mom has Parkinson's and is in an AL facility 45 minutes away. I try to go to visit twice a week and, because I can't go more often, I try to spend the whole day. While I am there I to tend to her housekeeping needs, help with her eating and take care of her diaper changes. She has dementia and although she knows who I am she often refers to me in the third person. The problem is that when I am trying to assist her with tooth brushing or trying to help her move from place to place - and especially when I am trying to change her - she becomes dead weight. She is not heavy, only 140 pounds, but I don't weigh much more than that and so am unable to lift her. The workers in AL tell me that she is able to walk & stand on her own, but I've never seen evidence of that until today. One of the workers changed her earlier today while I was there and Mom was able to assist by standing supported by her walker. Later this afternoon I attempted to change her wet diaper and she could not do much as lift her hips for me. By the time I gave up she had slid almost into the floor & was lying there helplessly. I went for help and while I was gone she lifted herself back upright and was sitting straight. When the worker began to change her she stood right up making the diaper change a simple thing. When I questioned her about the difference she shrugged & said "Sometimes it happens." Could it be subconscious, or is she intentionally trying to make things difficult for me. I'm 66 y/o and in good health except for back and shoulder problems, but trying to pull & lift on her is exacerbating what are right now minor problems. Has anyone else dealt with anything similar?