My mom and I have been extremely close my entire life. We lived a half mile from each other, got together several times a week, and talked every day. I have two daughters who were equally close to her.
Two years ago we moved to her home town and it’s been a complete disaster since we arrived. She has been telling lie after lie about my girls and I, to the point that many family members won’t even acknowledge me in public. I have defended myself and can physically prove that she is lying. (Example her furnace went out and because of a holiday and snowstorm it took 3 days to get it repaired. I provided her with enough space heaters to comfortably heat her house. She has been telling people I left her without heat for 3 weeks, even though the repair receipt proves it was 3 days. When I confronted her she said “well it felt like that long” and continues to hold firm on her time line.
Her behavior is crazy—I went to see her and she told me her house made her feel like a “dirty bug.” (The house was immaculate.) Two weeks later she moved out and refused to provide a forwarding address. She tells everyone I have abandoned her and poisoned my kids.
I have begged her to go to family counseling to figure things out, given her money for therapy (she ripped up the check), talked to the priest at her church (and she cancelled the meeting with him and lied and said he cancelled it). She had denied any attempt I have made to resolve things yet she still continues to endlessly bash me to family members.
When I confront her about the lying she denies it, even though she’s admitted to family members she has lied. I told her if she’s lying and doesn’t know it then there is a bigger problem and she should see a doctor. After that comment she said “I’m done!” and hung up on me. She despises doctors and refuses to go.
This behavior is not normal, I don’t even know who she is anymore. The few family members I do talk to act like they understand but they don’t defend me. I have repeatedly asked what I’ve done wrong and nobody can give me an answer. It’s like they don’t believe she’s lying because she’s sweet and has never been a liar. This is why I think there is an age related mental issue. Has anyone experienced anything similar? It’s heartbreaking and she’s destroyed my reputation, not to mention broken my heart. Is she sick or is she just a terrible person when she’s in her home town? I’m at a loss.