My dad is about to turn 70. He has type 2 diabetes, HBP, and suffers from incontinence. He still lives at home with my mom, but since she's 23 years younger than him, she still works full time as a nurse and he's always left home alone. He's very social and loquacious by nature so he complaints of being lonely, of having no friends in the area and spends his time on the phone, watching TV, writing on the computer (I've suggested he should write his memoirs to pass time) and going to the library/grocery store/pharmacy.
My brother and I have left home for university few years ago, but since I've found a temp job home, I moved back in with my parents. And I've started noticing things. First: the house smells of urine, everywhere. My father has incontinence, which my mom blames on his laziness. He doesn't shower regularly, his clothes smells because he always leaks, the house furnitures smell too since he's always home. Today I found a luggable loo he tried to hide in the basement which wasn't empty (we live in a one-bathroom duplex and the bathroom's upstairs). When we try to tell him the house smells and he should clean himself up, he gets upset saying we're disrespecting him. Because my mom always works, she doesn't want to deal with it. We won't invite anyone over anymore because it smells so bad.
Also, he hoards, always gets the house in a mess, gets new obsessions every now and then (right now, he focuses on new diets he finds on the Internet) and keeps saying he's going to try to find a job soon (but we all know he doesn't have the health for that). He's a very proud man who's done a lot of for us, who's studied a lot, but he seems to be in denial about his condition and hates when we "monitor" him. I'm worried sick he might have depression or early dementia and I don't know what to do or say to make him feel better and accepting of his age and health.
PS: I've suggested he sees a therapist, but since he's from Africa, he says he and his culture don't believe in therapy. Help.