She has severe dementia, but can talk really well...doesn't know some of her kids, but some she does...Stays aggitated in wanting to "go home" even though she is in her home...The hospice nurse said she is starting cheyne strok breathing...and very little urine output.

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We recently went through the dying process here in our home with my FIL, while (thankfully) on Hospice. OIt is a bit scary, so it's time to take a deep breath and remember that your Mom has lived a good long life, and that you have done Everything possible to care for her, and to make her as comfortable as possible. Do as you have been doing, and rely (often) on your Hospice Nurse, as they can tell you what to watch for, and how to proceed with the appropriate medications to keep Mom calm and comfortable.

When it gets to the point where she is No longer taking in fluids, keep her mouth wet (sometimes phlegm builds up in their mouths), using those mouth spongettes that Hospice supplies, and be sure to stay on top of any pain and agitation using your Hospice Care Pack, which has meds for this, if not the actual Rx's they supply you. Do not try to force any foods or nourishment on her if she isn't making any requests of it, you can certainly ask, but never push it, as their bodies are shutting down, and it's now very hard for them to absorb nutrients, and that's OK. A well resting Mom at this stage, means that you too are more relaxed, and are better equipped to take care of her. Rest when she is resting, accept help, as often others Do Not realize just how difficult this part of the truly is.

Try not to be afraid, I know that I was right at the end, the last 2 days, and remember that this is how your Mom wanted to pass, comfortable and surrounded by her loved ones, so really there is nothing to be afraid of, remain calm, nearby, hold her hand and talk with her, and everything will be OK.

You are doing great, you should be Proud of how well you are managing and eventually you will come to know what a gift it was to your Mom, to give of yourself this way. God Bless You!
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dlpandjep Sep 2018
staceyb - What a beautiful, compassionate comment. God Bless you.

genomom - How blessed your Mother is to have you by her side. May God give you the strength you need to see her through and peace in knowing you were there for her when she needed you most.
Oh, Gen; I;m so very sorry that you are going through this.

I remember from when my mom died that Cheyne Stokes breathing is so hard to listen to, but in retrospect, it means that they are are there journey home.

Please keep in touch here. and {{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}
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