Hello everyone I'm writing today in desperate need to know weather my 67 year old mom is starting to develop Alzheimer's. She believes that my brother's EX (she hates her) wife is coming into the house and moving things around. She got a new alarm system, she locks up every day, and she believes there are hidden cameras in the house watching and that's how my mother feels she's able to get into the house. Me not knowing or understanding what Alzheimer's was I told her there is no one coming in the house and she still believes things are being moved around. She says to me that my brothers EX wife is moving things around just to let her (my mother) know that she was there. Again I did not think nothing of it. Then one morning came and I forgot to lock the door and she screamed at me and right then that's when I looked up information on Alzheimer's. When I asked her about it she screamed and said she's not crazy. Don't get me wrong, my mom still goes to work, does normal things in the home, and she doesn't forget things. But she somehow believes that someone is coming into the house. I sat her down yesterday and told her my concerns and she said to me that she gets full check ups from her doctors. She still drives and do eventing else well, but she takes care of everything (I'm crying). She's the strongest lady I've ever known and to think that she may be getting ill scares me and sadden's me. She told me the only thing that would make her upset is if we (her sons) believe's that she was crazy. I'm new to understanding changes In age because I myself am very busy, but for the last few days reading about alzimers I started to sit back and watch her. I notice that she sings or hums in house a lot more, she forgot I gave her a glass of water the other night, small things like that. For the past 4 days (crying my eyes out) my mind is going crazy not knowing what to believe because she said she Go's to her doctors to check herself and say she's fine, She has high blood pressure and that's all I know of so far. Also I'm the one she talks to about most times about things that go on In the house, and now I think she thinks I'm no longer the person she can trust (crying). Please understand that my mom is my best friend who i respect and love dearly and it's kinda breaking me down mentally. I'm not sure what's going on. I'm confused. Is this the starting of Alzheimer's? She been locking doors and thinking people are coming in for the past 4 or 5 mounths. Is this something to be concerned about? Please God not my mother ......thank you
Please see your own doctor, and get a referral to a therapist. Something is just not right here, and the sooner it is addressed, the better for everyone!
Thank you for that information. I will look into it. As far as my anxiety, I'm definitely feeling it. Days don't feel the same. I'm getting sleep but not real sleep (I had a bad case of insomnia a few years back)....also today I think I made a big mistake. Today I called a phone number on moms prescription letters to see if can get information on my moms doctor. The lady asked me my concerns and I told her the situation. I started getting emotional while talking to her (wow I cant believe how emotional I am right now). Of course she told me that she can't give out that information, but what got me scared is that she said that she had to note the call in her account. Will this get back go my mom? I feel like a certified detector, which so far I'm failing at. At the same time the lady was very helpfull. I'm now having these images in my head of me losing her. My family not having her around. She keeps everything evened out. She told Me that she's strong, I know she is. Again thanks all
Rich2015 - caring for an elder is a marathon, not a sprint. You are going to need to rely on anxiety-reducing tools for the long haul.
I hope you and your family can use this as an entry point to have the conversations about who has which powers for your mom (Powers of Attorney), and what her wishes are if she is incapacitated. Her decisions need to be memorialized and legalized in an Advanced Directives/Health Care Directives document. Having this part done will probably help you feel more calm.
Keep a journal of everthing she tells you and that you see for yourself. Journal, journal, journal. If she's like a lot of women, there will be an excuse for everything and a trend can't emerge unless somebody is looking at the whole picture over time. Ask her what she ate today, what did she do, who did she see.
I started to notice that my mom was telling me the same thing every time. She had a scripted story for herself to keep everybody out of her business and cover up her decline. My mom's decline started about 15-18 years ago. She's turning 78 this summer.
Bills got too hard to pay, repairs too hard to handle. She became more & more isolated and made it sound like it was by choice because she didn't want to be around people to catch the flu, or the people at church picked on her, or the clerk at the pharmacy was rude, or this, that, & the other excuse. "I won't..." was reallly "I can't...." and we all missed it.
Hopefully the test results come back with something simple and easy to remedy. I hope this episode can produce something good for the family.
My mom seems fine as far as always getting up in time, keeping clean, she moves around back and forth to work and Is in great shape for s 67 year old. She just brought a new car. Also yes I do live in the NY NJ area. But the way she left the house yesterday felt weird. When she got in she told me that they took her blood and will send it to her doctor. She speaks with other family members over the phone and have debates with others and she seems fine speaking with others. Yes I have job issues as well and I worry a lot. I have things in my life going on that I need to tackle. I'm feeling a bit more calm. I will try and find her doctors because now I feel like she's hiding something from me. Am I crazy for wanting to find her doctors information lol. I just hope she's not in danger. Thanks all here. This is helping me in so many ways. I keep you posted
Be careful. Don't charge in with what will sound to her like accusations of incompetence.
Visit her. Does the house look in order? Is the food in the fridge fresh or old and stale? Are there repairs not being made? Does she smell bad?
These are clues that the person needs help.
Paranoid delusions can come from a bad medication mix and side effects.
Or stress.
Or a parasite.
Or any number of things that are not Alzheimers or brain disease.
If you can't get her to tell you who her doctor is, look on her medication bottles.
Keep a journal of behaviors and incidents so you have records to look back over.
Stay calm.
She went for a blood test at 11am this morning. Unless she lied to me. But I saw a bandaid on her arm. She did get back pretty quick for just getting her blood drawn. Oh man I hope she's not lying to me to keep me from thinking that she's not having issues. She see's me stressing. Jesus
As of recent my moms who is 67 years old is giving me signs that something may not be right with her. She doesn't want me to worry and she says that there is nothing wrong with her. She wants me to believe that's she is not crazy. The problem is, now I am constantly thinking about her more and more. Its giving me anxiety, making me cry (I haven't cried in years). Its just a terrible time for me. My question is, how can I get information on her doctor? She has a appointment on April 5th and I want to contact her doctor before she gets there. Thank you and god bless
Thanks for that link it was very helpful.
update:
Ok just a few mins ago my mother showed me some coats that she had in the closet and they were all torn and ripped in certain places, which was so weird to me as well. I said to her maybe the coats were old (they were older coats), but then as I watched the coats it did seem like they were ripped some how. Hell even I thought that was weird. I'm so confused and worried. She go's to get her check up tomorrow so I guess ill wait for those results. My moms also told me about my brothers EX and why she feels it is her coming in the home, she said that my brothers EX started screaming and yelling at my moms and my cousin when they tried to visit. Right then my moms thought she was crazy. My brothers EX use to live at the house and this is why she feels the EX is still coming in the house....but, again I hope this is just anxiety. Thank you everyone
https://www.agingcare.com/articles/alzheimers-disease-dementia-warning-signs-144253.htm
Do a mental check yourself of her situation. Is she on any new medications that may be causing behavior changes? Is it possible she has a urinary track infection, those symptoms mirror ALZ. What about her hydration? When someone is dehydrated, their behavior is off. Has her thyroid been checked? That too causes strange behavior. Have the locks changed on her house. It will cost a few dollars but it may give her some comfort.
I suggest you just address one issue at a time. Keep us posted.