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Hello everyone I'm writing today in desperate need to know weather my 67 year old mom is starting to develop Alzheimer's. She believes that my brother's EX (she hates her) wife is coming into the house and moving things around. She got a new alarm system, she locks up every day, and she believes there are hidden cameras in the house watching and that's how my mother feels she's able to get into the house. Me not knowing or understanding what Alzheimer's was I told her there is no one coming in the house and she still believes things are being moved around. She says to me that my brothers EX wife is moving things around just to let her (my mother) know that she was there. Again I did not think nothing of it. Then one morning came and I forgot to lock the door and she screamed at me and right then that's when I looked up information on Alzheimer's. When I asked her about it she screamed and said she's not crazy. Don't get me wrong, my mom still goes to work, does normal things in the home, and she doesn't forget things. But she somehow believes that someone is coming into the house. I sat her down yesterday and told her my concerns and she said to me that she gets full check ups from her doctors. She still drives and do eventing else well, but she takes care of everything (I'm crying). She's the strongest lady I've ever known and to think that she may be getting ill scares me and sadden's me. She told me the only thing that would make her upset is if we (her sons) believe's that she was crazy. I'm new to understanding changes In age because I myself am very busy, but for the last few days reading about alzimers I started to sit back and watch her. I notice that she sings or hums in house a lot more, she forgot I gave her a glass of water the other night, small things like that. For the past 4 days (crying my eyes out) my mind is going crazy not knowing what to believe because she said she Go's to her doctors to check herself and say she's fine, She has high blood pressure and that's all I know of so far. Also I'm the one she talks to about most times about things that go on In the house, and now I think she thinks I'm no longer the person she can trust (crying). Please understand that my mom is my best friend who i respect and love dearly and it's kinda breaking me down mentally. I'm not sure what's going on. I'm confused. Is this the starting of Alzheimer's? She been locking doors and thinking people are coming in for the past 4 or 5 mounths. Is this something to be concerned about? Please God not my mother ......thank you

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Again bless you all with your feed back. Today was a huge sign that I need to take care of myself in this stressful time. I was at the motor vehicle today and while waiting in line I felt kinda strange as if my body was about to faint. Hopefully I wasent having s heart attack (wow). All of this happening because I fear moms may have s brain problem, am truly that weak? God I hope I did not develop high blood pressure because of this.
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Hi Rich, Sorry to hear of the challenges you feel you may be facing
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Rich, I'm so glad you saw your doctor! High bp comes from many sources. Stress can be a factor but not always. Did you talk to your doc about a yherapist? Taking that step may be just as important as bp meds at this point.
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Well in my case with my mom n law she lived with us I moniterd her meds and I took her to her doc appts and Sat in to listen n explain things to mom .mom had dementia n couldn't hear .mom was a strong lady as well in her day but when she started to show signs we said she needs us to help her though she didn't want us to we told her 2 heads are better than one so that way if doc said something and she didn't remember we would and so she excepted that help .be sure to get at least poa for health care in place just in case
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Again thank you all for your most needed feed back. Today I did go to the doctor and it seems that I now have high blood pressure. Wow, can axiety cause this. Both my mother and my brother take high blood medication. I'm am over weight, but I know it's the feelings I'm having for my mother is what's causing this high blood pressure. I'm now looking into calming myself down. This terrible axiety is making me think the worst. I do need to get myself together and I will. Thank you everyone. I will keep you up to date.
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Rich, you know how when you fly they tell you that in the event of an emergency you are to put on your own air mask first, and then help children or others near you? Well, this is the same situation. Mom seems to be having a problem with paranoia. But before you can help her, you need to get yourself stable. From what your are saying, you are experiencing changes in your own behavior -- crying a lot, being overcome with emotion, insomnia. You deserve help with these issues just because you are a worthwhile unique individual. And also getting help will put you in a better position to help your mother, if it turns out she needs your help.

Please see your own doctor, and get a referral to a therapist. Something is just not right here, and the sooner it is addressed, the better for everyone!
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It will get back to Mom, but the good news is that maybe she will get you to the MD and you will get some Ativan to relieve the overwhelming anxiety.
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@sandwish42plus

Thank you for that information. I will look into it. As far as my anxiety, I'm definitely feeling it. Days don't feel the same. I'm getting sleep but not real sleep (I had a bad case of insomnia a few years back)....also today I think I made a big mistake. Today I called a phone number on moms prescription letters to see if can get information on my moms doctor. The lady asked me my concerns and I told her the situation. I started getting emotional while talking to her (wow I cant believe how emotional I am right now). Of course she told me that she can't give out that information, but what got me scared is that she said that she had to note the call in her account. Will this get back go my mom? I feel like a certified detector, which so far I'm failing at. At the same time the lady was very helpfull. I'm now having these images in my head of me losing her. My family not having her around. She keeps everything evened out. She told Me that she's strong, I know she is. Again thanks all
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I learned something today - about docs being open on Sundays in some areas.

Rich2015 - caring for an elder is a marathon, not a sprint. You are going to need to rely on anxiety-reducing tools for the long haul.

I hope you and your family can use this as an entry point to have the conversations about who has which powers for your mom (Powers of Attorney), and what her wishes are if she is incapacitated. Her decisions need to be memorialized and legalized in an Advanced Directives/Health Care Directives document. Having this part done will probably help you feel more calm.

Keep a journal of everthing she tells you and that you see for yourself. Journal, journal, journal. If she's like a lot of women, there will be an excuse for everything and a trend can't emerge unless somebody is looking at the whole picture over time. Ask her what she ate today, what did she do, who did she see.

I started to notice that my mom was telling me the same thing every time. She had a scripted story for herself to keep everybody out of her business and cover up her decline. My mom's decline started about 15-18 years ago. She's turning 78 this summer.

Bills got too hard to pay, repairs too hard to handle. She became more & more isolated and made it sound like it was by choice because she didn't want to be around people to catch the flu, or the people at church picked on her, or the clerk at the pharmacy was rude, or this, that, & the other excuse. "I won't..." was reallly "I can't...." and we all missed it.

Hopefully the test results come back with something simple and easy to remedy. I hope this episode can produce something good for the family.
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@sandwish42plus

My mom seems fine as far as always getting up in time, keeping clean, she moves around back and forth to work and Is in great shape for s 67 year old. She just brought a new car. Also yes I do live in the NY NJ area. But the way she left the house yesterday felt weird. When she got in she told me that they took her blood and will send it to her doctor. She speaks with other family members over the phone and have debates with others and she seems fine speaking with others. Yes I have job issues as well and I worry a lot. I have things in my life going on that I need to tackle. I'm feeling a bit more calm. I will try and find her doctors because now I feel like she's hiding something from me. Am I crazy for wanting to find her doctors information lol. I just hope she's not in danger. Thanks all here. This is helping me in so many ways. I keep you posted
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Don't know where Rich lives, but if he's in NYC, there are loads of docs who keep Sunday hours and many of the labs are open as well. One of the many benefits of living in a very pluralistic place.
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Rich, I think that it's time for you to find someone you can talk to about this and the other stressors in your life. Do you have a doctor yourself? Go in and have a chat about what's going on in your life and find out how to get yourself seen by a therapist. Yes, having the possibility of your mother being I'll is stressful, but you don't want it to send you around the bend. You need to be able to work and maintain other relationships in order to stay strong and be a help to your mom as she grows older. Post back and let us know what the doctor finds.
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Pam, lots of us who live in Jewish Brooklyn have dr appointments on Sundays lol!
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Today is Sunday.. No doctors are open on Sunday for checkups. No bloodwork happened today I'm willing to bet.

Be careful. Don't charge in with what will sound to her like accusations of incompetence.

Visit her. Does the house look in order? Is the food in the fridge fresh or old and stale? Are there repairs not being made? Does she smell bad?
These are clues that the person needs help.

Paranoid delusions can come from a bad medication mix and side effects.
Or stress.
Or a parasite.
Or any number of things that are not Alzheimers or brain disease.

If you can't get her to tell you who her doctor is, look on her medication bottles.

Keep a journal of behaviors and incidents so you have records to look back over.
Stay calm.
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@pamstegma

She went for a blood test at 11am this morning. Unless she lied to me. But I saw a bandaid on her arm. She did get back pretty quick for just getting her blood drawn. Oh man I hope she's not lying to me to keep me from thinking that she's not having issues. She see's me stressing. Jesus
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Rich2015, get your own anxiety under control first. You are mixing up days, because nobody has a Dr appointment on Sunday, not on March22nd or on April 5th. See your own MD and get some medications and counseling. Now is not the time to talk to her doctor. Please see your MD asap.
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does anyone know a way that I can get my mothers doctor information without me asking her for it

As of recent my moms who is 67 years old is giving me signs that something may not be right with her. She doesn't want me to worry and she says that there is nothing wrong with her. She wants me to believe that's she is not crazy. The problem is, now I am constantly thinking about her more and more. Its giving me anxiety, making me cry (I haven't cried in years). Its just a terrible time for me. My question is, how can I get information on her doctor? She has a appointment on April 5th and I want to contact her doctor before she gets there. Thank you and god bless
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Rich, call the doc tomorrow to tell of your concerns about your Mom. If it is not her GP doc, then call right before your Mom's next appointment to express your concerns. Maybe she should go to the doc anyway to be checked for an infection. There are things that can go wrong with the brain, other than Alzheimer's, some can be fixed.
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@freqflyer
Thanks for that link it was very helpful.

update:
Ok just a few mins ago my mother showed me some coats that she had in the closet and they were all torn and ripped in certain places, which was so weird to me as well. I said to her maybe the coats were old (they were older coats), but then as I watched the coats it did seem like they were ripped some how. Hell even I thought that was weird. I'm so confused and worried. She go's to get her check up tomorrow so I guess ill wait for those results. My moms also told me about my brothers EX and why she feels it is her coming in the home, she said that my brothers EX started screaming and yelling at my moms and my cousin when they tried to visit. Right then my moms thought she was crazy. My brothers EX use to live at the house and this is why she feels the EX is still coming in the house....but, again I hope this is just anxiety. Thank you everyone
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Rich, here is an excellent article that I hope will be helpful that I found on the Aging Care website.

https://www.agingcare.com/articles/alzheimers-disease-dementia-warning-signs-144253.htm
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Ok the first thing I would like to say is thank you so much for all the response and God bless you all. As i read threw your comments I started to think of recent things that were going on over the past few months and my moms started drinking lemon water everyday. I myself started making the lemon water for myself because I heard all of the benefits of health that comes with Lemon water. What happened with me is that the lemon water I believe broke out s rash on my arm, I'm going to the docs to ceck that out ties. my mom started drinking it as well, but she drinks it every night because it cured a terrible cough she had at night. She now has this bump on her finger (hope to god it's not cancer). She is going tomorrow to check it out. Btw when I asked her about her appointment tommorow she seemed to almost forgot. I'm watching her so close now (crying). She's such a strong lil lady. Let me say that I don't know any of her doctors or any of her conditions fully. She works full time and she drives back and forth fine. Yesterday I asked her to show me a new direction to the gym and did that just fine. God I wish I never got online and found symptoms on alzheimer because as of now I find myself watching her a lot and its stopping the things I need to handle. Also I forgot to write that she's thinking of getting s gun just in case she finds her(EX) in the house (God I hope no one gave her a gun). This whole thing makes me feel so alone. She's so strong and she helps all my family and no one reported of any changes in her. Btw I make the lemon juice by squeezing the lemon juice into a bottled of water, then k take the peels and blend them and pour that into the bottle as well, that makes for thick lemon taste ( I just wanted to throw that out there)......thank you all
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She's still working? That's very interesting. If she is developing some sort of dementia I can't imagine how she holds down a job. Can you very discreetly talk to her boss or a coworker about what they are seeing? Also talk to her doc about what you are seeing with your mom.
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Rich2015, be patient with her, and God. Alzheimer's is probably not in the picture, but anxiety is and so is her obsession with the Evil Ex. Mothers are very protective of their sons, just as fathers are with daughters. Anxiety meds would help her. Now on the other hand, if you actually witnessed her talking to vapors and spirits, you should get her tested for some sort of dementia.
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Hi Rich, Sorry to hear of the challenges you feel you may be facing. Your Mom is young, making you young as well. I get the idea you live relatively close to her so (personally) I would lay off of expressing concern and work instead to get your relationship back on an even keel. This disease rarely moves all that quickly. Separately, you might assess her situation with respect to power of attorney and health care proxy and Wills. Under the worst case scenario, she would not be able to do valid legal documents with such a diagnosis. Since she is still working and the doctor's have no current diagnosis, I'd go for that paperwork first. Think long and hard about how to present this. ('Someone at work was talking about this Mom and I thought it is always a good idea to make sure we all know where everything is', for example).
Do a mental check yourself of her situation. Is she on any new medications that may be causing behavior changes? Is it possible she has a urinary track infection, those symptoms mirror ALZ. What about her hydration? When someone is dehydrated, their behavior is off. Has her thyroid been checked? That too causes strange behavior. Have the locks changed on her house. It will cost a few dollars but it may give her some comfort.

I suggest you just address one issue at a time. Keep us posted.
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Rich2015: this is obviously a noticeable change in you mom's behavior & very understandable that you're so upset. One of the symptoms of dementia is paranoia - her believing someone is coming into her home when this is actually not happening may mean she's could be in a stage of alzheimer/dementia. Is her high blood pressure controlled with medication? High blood pressure can contribute to alzheimer dementia. Have her evaluated by Neuropsychiatrist -ask her doctor to refer her to one.
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