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I don't want to take care of him he need a place to stay people that are educated to deal with the problems. I think we both need conuseling. I want peace and happiness at my age now. My last Dr. told me I cannot take care of him.


I am a 79 year old woman will be 80 Nov. 25th 2020 with a pace maker. I am taking care of my 65 year old blind son that is also on dailysis but I don't want to. I want peace. I feel like I am being taken advantange of. I cook for him I wash his clothes he tried to commit suside I am so tired all the time. Do I have to lose my life because of him? My home is a dump because I am too tired and stressed out to keep it clean like I enjoy it. He is pulling me down and i want him out of my home. I raised him now I think he should make his own way not take my happiness. All he does is eat and sleep and look for me to do every thing for him . I just want to leave I don't want to do this . I did my part.

No, No one would ever think that you are wrong. You are recognizing that love isn't enough to overcome human limitations. You have surely done your part and more. It is no one's fault. If you first asked this in July you have had now several months to think on it and to decide that there is really no other answer. Where will your son be if this care actually makes you leave this earth prematurely? He will be then without even your visits. I wish you luck and peace as you move toward implementing what you already know you must do.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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I noticed you have asked this question 2x before since July and each time you have had answers. I actually asked a question you did not answer.

https://www.agingcare.com/questions/i-am-a-79-year-old-woman-taking-care-of-my-64-year-old-son-that-is-depressed-blind-dialysis-461892.htm

No, you aren't wrong in wanting him out. But suggestions have been given to you, have you checked them out?

Office of Aging in your County is a good start. Medicaid for in home or Longterm care is another avenue. Office of Aging maybe able to help you there.

You said he is on SSI, like in Social Security? Because SSI is a Supplimental income. There are HUD subsidized apartments that charge by scale. There are resources but you need to make the call. I would also get something from your Doctor that taking care of your son is effecting your health. If he lands in the hospital, refuse to let him be discharged to your care.

Same if he is in rehab. Have him evaluated for LTC. And refuse to take him home. If you need to, let the State handle his care.

We can only give you information you need to take the first step. That would be your County Office of Aging. If you can't get to them, ask if they can come to you. And let them see how you are living because you are caring for a son.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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No, it is not wrong if you don't have the energy, ability or support to care for him. I would suggest contacting social services to see if they can help find placement for him in a facility that can serve him better. Have you looked into that?
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Reply to mstrbill
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