Not wrong and you will not regret it when she does pass away.
My grandma was mentally sound but in a wheelchair and in poor health. Didn’t leave house much. Every closet in her house was crammed with clothes, many still having tags. Had shopping bags full of wrapping paper from gifts she’d received because “the paper is pretty and I like to look at it.” Guess what, she never looked at it again. She had no idea what all she had. When she died it took two months to clean out her house and everyone wished they’d gradually removed things over time.
For several years before my dad died I’d often fill a grocery bag or two with obviously worthless items in his home and put them in the trash while he was napping. He didn’t have an especially trashy home or dementia, I just knew the job of cleaning it out would one day be all on me (and it eventually was) Nothing I threw away was ever noticed or missed. I would never have thrown away anything useful or sentimental. So, no I don’t find it wrong. Maybe something of your mother’s could be of use to others, plus doing it slowly where she won’t notice will be saving you some of the job later.
This reminds me of cleaning out my MIL’s house and garages to sell the property after she passed. The huge chest freezer full of food (we dated some of it from when our children—now in their 30s—were toddlers). The baskets and baskets of canned goods and beverages, most long expired. We used or donated what we could but it made me sick to throw out so much food. And five dumpsters worth plus countless trips to goodwill of non food items as well. No, I don’t think it’s wrong to dispose of things that are not of any use to them.
No find a half way House where People will appreciate the clothes , Pocket Books, shoes . I gave away My Moms good clothes, sweaters , shoes , coats to a schizophrenic Half way House - these people really need clothes .
Dc, just be very mindful of removing her life right in front of her.
I had a dear friend that watched as her daughter slowly but surely removed her life from the home. It was the saddest thing that I have ever heard and I know my precious friend was gutted by it. Her bedroom had no more personal touch then a hospital room. She was powerless to stop any of it because she was dependent on her daughter. Oh, the daughter wasn't asked or put in the caregiver role, she inserted herself, I suppose to get as much of her parents assets as she possibly could regardless of how it affected her mom.
So, all of that to say, be mindful of making mom feel like she is being erased.
No, not at all. Throwing away obvious trash and donating items that are no longer of use to her, but useful to someone else is great! My side hustle is reselling, I would resell some of my grandparents items for them and they got the biggest kick out of the strangest things people would buy and what they would pay.
No it's not wrong. I posted in answer to a similar question that I am slowly clearing out excess from my 98 yo mom's house. Older persons with dementia do better in less cluttered environments also. Just don't take anything she may currently need or is attached to. I sometimes take things like cards that I am sick of hearing her reread as well. She gets plenty of new ones all the time and never notices what is missing.
I'd highly recommend this. Do it slowly and do it gradually. She is living in her home and 96. Reduce, reuse, recycle. Others can make use of her clothing.
Dad passed away 5-1/2 years. Mom is in her house with caregivers. I've been slowly clearing things out for 5-1/2 years. It has taken a huge burden off of me.
You don't have to touch Moms personal things. But closets full of clothes she does not need. My Mom was in an AL and later LTC. I picked out nine prs of slacks and tops to match and a couple of nice outfits just in case we went somewhere nice. Then I got rid of the "Mothers" dresses from my brothers' weddings. She had not worn skirts, blouses or dresses in years so they went. My SIL always sent her things she would never wear, they went. I think when you get started you will know what to keep and not. If unsure, keep it.
When people get older, I think its overwhelming for them to "clean out" so they don't. Mom may actually appreciate it.
Since her retirement, my mom was wearing pants day to day and dresses for Sunday and special occasions. But when she became incontinent and needed help with toileting, I found skirts were much easier to deal with. I bought her a selection of easy, tent type dresses and a couple of sturdy denim skirts. Just saying, sometimes dressing preferences can change.
My grandma was mentally sound but in a wheelchair and in poor health. Didn’t leave house much. Every closet in her house was crammed with clothes, many still having tags. Had shopping bags full of wrapping paper from gifts she’d received because “the paper is pretty and I like to look at it.” Guess what, she never looked at it again. She had no idea what all she had. When she died it took two months to clean out her house and everyone wished they’d gradually removed things over time.
I had a dear friend that watched as her daughter slowly but surely removed her life from the home. It was the saddest thing that I have ever heard and I know my precious friend was gutted by it. Her bedroom had no more personal touch then a hospital room. She was powerless to stop any of it because she was dependent on her daughter. Oh, the daughter wasn't asked or put in the caregiver role, she inserted herself, I suppose to get as much of her parents assets as she possibly could regardless of how it affected her mom.
So, all of that to say, be mindful of making mom feel like she is being erased.
I'd highly recommend this. Do it slowly and do it gradually. She is living in her home and 96.
Reduce, reuse, recycle. Others can make use of her clothing.
Dad passed away 5-1/2 years. Mom is in her house with caregivers. I've been slowly clearing things out for 5-1/2 years. It has taken a huge burden off of me.
Go for it. Slowly and gradually.
When people get older, I think its overwhelming for them to "clean out" so they don't. Mom may actually appreciate it.