Is it wrong to be creeped out that mom wants me to sleep in her room? - AgingCare.com

Is it wrong to be creeped out that mom wants me to sleep in her room?

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Mom is quite elderly and suffers from depression, anxiety, and dementia. I am a senior citizen myself and have moved into her house to look after her. Frankly, her room usually smells. I sleep on the floor in the living room and need to listen to podcasts or something to get to sleep but the light from my tablet bothers mom and so would the sound. I've slept in my own room since I was 2 weeks old and prefer being on my own. Suddenly, mom wants me to sleep in her room. All the practical issues could be dealt with. But I get squicked out by the idea of sleeping on her floor - it just feels creepy. I am literally right on the other side of her wall, and can hear her and go to her quickly when she calls out. This arrangement has worked for years. Am I wrong to be creeped out? Do I have to do it? I am sleep deprived as it is!

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Maybe you can just stay til she falls asleep and that will work for her. Then go sleep in the other room
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Reply to baskethill1
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Its difficult enough being a caregiver with a good night’s rest, but to be awake all night because you are uncomfortable and weirded out and then have to take care of Mom all the next day is darned near impossible. I go to (my own) bed at 10PM just for some peace and “me time” away from my husband.

You need to figure out some comfortable, supportive sleeping arrangement for yourself. Sooner or later, sleeping on the floor is going to cause harm to your joints.

Also, if Mom’s paranoia is overwhelming (sounds like sundowning) maybe a call to her doctor for a meds adjustment?
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Reply to Ahmijoy
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I understand why she wants you there but I am with you not to want to sleep in her room. My Mom was in the bottom level of my home, me the top. I had a monitor next to my bed so I could hear her. OMG, I heard her snoring, heard her turning over, talking in her sleep. I couldn't sleep. So I moved the monitor to the hallway. So me, I wouldn't sleep in her room. Just explain that you are not comfortable doing that but you are right out her door. Like you I have had my own room since I was nine. I have only slept with my husband and he gets hit when he snores.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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Personally I’d find the nearest comfy spot and let her know you’ll be right there if she needs you. Then do your night rituals (do you have earbuds? No noise then.) I’m partial to couch sleeping myself. Or you might like a recliner. Why the floor? I don’t know how you walk by morning sleeping on the floor!

Mom sounds a little scared.
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Reply to HolidayEnd
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