I moved my mom into an assisted living facility about four weeks ago, in another state, near me. Every time that I am with her, which is almost daily, she says that she needs to have a talk with me. That is when she tells me that she wants to go home, and that she misses her friends, and why can’t she just pay for someone to stay with her around-the-clock.
She is healthier now than she has been probably in the last two years, and walking way more than she has in the last two years, so I know that part of this is because she feels so good. Because she feels so good, she wants to be around her old friends, and not around all of these “old people“.
I know that I am not supposed to say things like “remember we already talked about this”, so that I don’t frustrate her, but her asking the same question every single day is such a huge downer on me. Especially when she cries!
We have taken her to the beach, to waterfront restaurants, etc., But I’ve gotten to the point where I can tell she is not even focusing on the beautiful scenery and weather. All she is focusing on is how she wants to tell me about how she wants to go home.
So, my question is, is it wrong for me just to bring it up when I first get there every day? It’s almost like I’m to the point where I would rather just bring it up and tell her that I know that she’s unhappy, but let’s just go enjoy the day. I’m just so tired of trying to please her and make every day enjoyable, and then at the end of the day she sends me down the road of total unhappiness. I absolutely hate it when she cries.
I am such a newbie to all of this, and I really am trying not to make her feel like she is an invalid or that she is losing her mind, but at the same time it is really sucking the life and happiness out of me, and I feel like I wonder if I’ve done the wrong thing and should’ve just let her stay at home and do what? I don’t know? Die? :-(