Is it wrong not to go to a memorial service when the time comes?

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I am not in contact with what I call my "non-siblings". They have POA and have done nothing but allow my mom to deteriorate. They have threatened to kill me, refuse to put mom in a better living facility, refuse to take her to the doctor, killed her little dog, stolen so much from her, etc. All they care about is the $ they will inherit - so saving money is the key to their happiness. I only care about my mom and even had to get an ombudsman to go see her. Everytime, I leave from my visit, I tell her "I love her", because I never know if it will be the last time. These non-siblings have spread viscious lies about me; God knows the truth, as does my immediate family, co-workers, and friends. I have explored every legal avenue to help to no avail (can't afford an attorney - no one will do anything on a contingency basis either). I try to avoid the "non-siblings" as much as I possibly can. I live in a small town, so it is hard to avoid 2 of them. One has tried to run me off the road, has threatened me while trying to visit mom - the list goes on. It has been like this my entire life. I just don't think I could ever go to a memorial service when mom dies. I know where she will be when she is cremated - next to my dad. I would rather pay my respects to her without the eyes and looks of the creeps. I honestly don't know what I would do if I saw all of them in one spot - especially, the inside of a church (they don't go to church). I am afraid I would have a total breakdown, not just because of the loss of my mom, but the sight of such awful people all in one setting. Any thoughts from anyone experiencing a similar or past situation similar to mine? This has been on my mind since my mom was recently put on hospice;and of course, hospice cannot tell me anything.

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Thank you for the responses, everyone. I thought these were criminal offenses, too. Apparently, they don't become criminal until something happens or it's too late. I have reported these things; and NOTHING happens. It makes me so mad that they can get away with everything they have done. But that is what has happened their entire life. One of them would be put in jail and mom or dad would bail them out. One was locked up in a psych ward, but eventually got released. One owed the IRS $; but he has taken care of that with mom's money. I, at this point, refuse to be part of this - it is so wrong. I was taken out of the will, when my mom went on a mean streak. I don't care about the money. In spite of all that has happened to me over my lifetime, emotionally abused - I still love her because she is my mom. I am assuming she is on hospice because of her ever progressing at a fast pace dementia. I would digress, too, if I were put in such a horrendous place. She was at least talking and eating and being mobile (with a walker) when the POAs and social services dragged her from her home. One of the POAs killed her dog, too. Mom has (could be had at this point) the $ to be in a better place with great care. But now with hospice, I am not sure what is happening. The horrible facility won't tell me anything except the POAs are looking out for her best interest, which is total bull. I can't stand any of them; and I am afraid all the anger that has been building up in me may just spurt out at a memorial service. And that would be wrong. I just wanted to hear if anyone else has been in a similar situation on what they would or have done. I love my mom in spite of everything and I know I have always done my best to be a good daughter.
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Threatening your life and running you off the road are criminal offenses. One is a felony. Report this to the police and have them arrested.

Angel
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heartbroken3, after reading your post, I don't know where to begin... all I can say, it is your choice whether to attend the memorial service or not.
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I would stay away from anyone who tried to run me off the road and threatened to kill me. I think I may call the police.

With all your attempts to report your nonsiblings, I would think that someone looked into the POA. Most POA's have to keep records of their transactions and can be held accountable for their management of the person's assets. I wouldn't think you need a lawyer for that to be done.

Apparently, your mother was qualified for Hospice care. Is there any reason you think that is not appropriate? Sometimes, it's a great help for the patient and their family.
I would cherish the remaining time with her and try not to focus on negative energy from others. Attending the memorial service is a personal decision. What do you think would happen if you attended? I would let that determine my decision.
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