My husband's brother has lived with us for 10 of the worst years of my life, All because his brother fried his own brain on PCP in the mid 80's now my husband's brother thinks that the whole world owes him, he is the most disgusting and nasty human being I have ever known. After 10 years I have decided that January 2026 I am leaving with my cats, I can't take anymore of his brother's bs everyday, my husband and I have been married for 35 years but I can't take anymore of his brother. I Love my Husband dearly, but I will not be disrespected by his brother anymore.
It might be something to consider.
Why does your husband allow him to stay if he makes life miserable? If your husband won’t back you up , you need to leave .
You better secretly meet with a divorce lawyer before you leave.
Be careful. Someone who cares about you this little is unstable. Protect yourself and your animals. WHY you would still after 10 years of this abuse say that you love your husband dearly I cannot honestly imagine; I am so glad there aren't children involved here. I wish you the best.
In the meantime, make sure you have a plan in place for you and your cats if you have to get out come January 2026.
How thoroughly have you discussed this with your husband? Does he know how strongly you feel, yet still chooses his brother? Or are you just assuming he knows?
What are the finances of the situation? Does the brother contribute financially? Have you talked with your husband about setting his brother up with low-income housing, disability, SNAP, etc. so that the brother can leave?
Meet with a divorce lawyer. Don't tell your husband about it yet. Bring a list of your finances and accounts and learn what your rights are and how to protect yourself. Monitor the accounts so that your husband doesn't transfer money or anything. Once all that is lined up, so that your husband will see that you are serious about this, give him the ultimatum.
I hope your husband will understand and choose to make his brother leave. But if you need to go, then go. You deserve peace in your life without the brother. Keep us posted on how it goes.
If he refuses to to go counseling then that's when you go the divorce lawyer and have a consult. Then you can decide to use unsigned divorce papers as leverage to get him to move his brother out and go to counseling.
Your DH has twisted priorities, imo. If his brother is more important to him than his marriage, then I hope the 2 of them will be very happy together while you move on and OUT.
Best of luck.
How about having a heart-to-heart talk with husband, and maybe see a marriage counselor? It might be worth a try. If that's not enough, then pack and go. Cats tend to be very respectful beings, and you and your cats will have a happier life elsewhere.
See a divorce lawyer now. The first consultation is often free.