When we discussed her moving in with us she was living in squalor and wasn't taking care of herself. She said she fell 2 times. She was visiting food pantries and collecting homemade crafts. After moving in with me, 52 years old still very active with my 5 grown children and 2 young grandchildren and my 55 year old husband) she's proven to be able to care for herself but chooses not to. Can still drive but won't go out to meet others her age. Shops and cooks for herself but because she has horrible hygiene habits I refuse to be around her in my own home. She still owns a house which was rented out but is soon to be vacated. She has income so that's not an issue. The only thing I can figure out is that she's lonely. I work, because I have to day in and day out most of 6 months and when there's no work my husband and I like to go visit friends and family ( we live in a resort area). She refuses to take care of herself or the spaces she uses in our home, like the kitchen and living room. ( we live downstairs for privacy where we've adapted thus giving her access to kitchen, living room and porches. We have a make shift kitchenette and our own living space) she will not go out unless she's going to shop and that's usually once month or to a doctor appointment which she will cancel in a heart beat. Long story short she's still lonely and we're miserable. I've lost my temper with her a couple of times and she's interfered in family on goings too many times that my children do not want to come see me. She has made everyone feel uncomfortable in one way or another. I am starting to believe she gave me her sob story and me being the eldest and most financially able to do so fell prey to her and asked her to move in with us. ( we spent a lot of money fixing up her home to get it rental ready and rearranged our home for her ease.) She's mean, hurtful, and vengeful but finds a way to turn all things around to make me feel like I'm the one who's done wrong. I find jobs to stay away from house as much as possible now. I prepare meals away from the house so that my husband and I are not eating take out. My husband is my sounding board and shoulder for crying on. We don't discuss anything in the house. We talk during work or in the car. All I do these days is complain. I catch myself spying on her to see what's going on with my house by finding excuses to be upstairs. I know she can take care of herself, maybe not up to my standards but still capable. Should I feel completely awful and how do I go forward?