Is it worth the change? - AgingCare.com

Is it worth the change?

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As you all know my Mom has Alzheimers. It's in the moderate stages. At the moment she is in a nursing home because of surgery but I was thinking about switching her to an assisted living. I showed her an "apartment" today (Can't say nursing home or assisted living without a temper tantrum) at the assisted living, she hated it, when we got back to the nursing home she swears it is NOT where she has been staying and argues all the way in until we get to her room. As much as I want my mom to have the little bit more privacy that the AL offers, I don't know if it will be worth the melt down and the extreme confusion that will follow a change of environment. And if I do move her to an AL and it doesn't work out we have to go through the confusion and change all over again to go back to the nursing home. I have very little experience with Alzheimers, is it worth the stress to her? Or would it be best just to leave her where she is?

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I have dealt with this NH for 5 years. My uncle was there and even though they do not have a special memory/dementia unit they deal with it well. It is close to me and one of the highest rated in my state.. the main reason I was looking at and Assisted Living was so she could have a few more of her own things and a little more privacy. that and I honestly think I am just not ready to accept how advanced mom is
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Prepare for the next stage, not the stage she's in today. Nobody knows how long you get to spend in one stage or another. The last thing you need is a care crisis that forces sudden and unplanned change. Cognitive decline never happens on a schedule and never at a convenient time.

I think leaving her where she is, is a very smart move. One consideration though is to make sure this NH is capable of dementia care. It's not the same as typical old-age custodial care where mom/dad need help to get up, bathe, change clothes, be supervised, have skilled nursing care.

Dementia care facilities can deal with the specific and outrageous behaviors that dementias bring. Some NHs will absolutely not have it. You don't want a rude surprise by the NH saying "mom can't stay here anymore effective immediately".
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Thank you everyone, just needing input. I think I have decided to leave her at the NH. Mom likes to hang out in her "housegown" and at an AL she has to get dressed when leaving her room. She also takes most of her meals in her room at the NH and the AL will not do that for her. When I am not taking Mom out and her routine is not disrupted all she talks about is how nice everyone is and how she likes it there, just wishes her apartment was bigger. When I take her out and she sees the NH sign she gets mad and insists it is not where she has been staying, but she forgets it withing 5 minutes of getting to her room.
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Showing her a bare room or one furnished by a stranger would probably appear unattractive to her. The same room furnished from her own home might be a completely different thing.
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corthrangirl3, if available in your area a better choice might be a memory care center where the Staff understands Alzheimer's/Dementia. Not everyone in Assisted Living or even at the Rehab facilities know what to do or say to someone who's memory can get confused.
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That changes my answer. If you think the AL will be a better fit for her now and in the future It might be worth the (hopefully temporary) chaos of a move.
You'll need to carefully consider the pros and cons of each, and whether some of the problems with the nursing home can be alleviated by making a few changes. I expect there is a $$ issue too if she doesn't yet need a high level of care, no small consideration. Good luck!
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Mom lived alone in an apt before her surgery. She shouldnt have been living alone but no one in the family has POA etc. The surgery was a blessing in a way. She is right on the line between NH and AL. She takes no meds, and now that she is healed needs no medical attention. The AL I am looking at tries to keep people til end of life they dont just boot them once they begin to deteriorate.
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Even if the assistive living place is appropriate for now, in the not too distant future her needs will probably be beyond their level of care, and the move back will be that much harder. I would work to find ways to make her present home more enjoyable rather than make the move.
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You don't really get to pick between a NH and an ALF the way you get to choose between a motel and a hotel. Your loved one needs to be where the appropriate level of care exists. A doctor and the staff where she is now can help determine that.

Where did she live before the surgery? Is she in the rehab (tcu) unit of the nursing home now?
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Is she in a shared room at the NH? Was she happy when you got her back in her room? If by privacy you mean a roommate.. we wanted dad to have one in MC, as he seemed to do better with company.? My dad had a small room, with another guy in a room next door with a shared bathroom and small "sort of" kitchen. Fridge, sink, cabinets. They didn;t really interact much but seemed to like haveing each other around. Might be worth keeping her where she is comfortable and settled in. The privacy may not be as big a deal to her, and she may like the comfort of having someone with her.
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