The short story is, it wasnt a good first 60 years. Dad's gone, mom is horror story, alive and well, full on bastard and healthy as a horse. Hmmmm, lucky me.
In my head lately, Ive been thinking that if I should survive my husband, I really don't want my kids to end up saddled with my age and eventual demise. I hate, ABSOLUTELY HATE, my connection with my mom and I've got this "thing" about elderly now...IM 61 !!!! I should be throwing no rocks- but this dementia, cancer, Alz.. incontinence, doctor visits, hearing aide, cant walk, park or drive....who died, who had a stroke, who can't have dairy, who has bowel trouble....I just can't do anymore and I sure don't cherish the idea of my kids, leaving my house thinking like I do now. I would rather die in the desert alone before my daughter gets in her car and thinks- GOD she stinks! Granted, I am no where like my mother- total opposite- but age does indeed happen...and somehow got myself into a mess now, thinking about when my time comes and age has really parked itself at my door- do I want my son making the "son visits" and my daughter stuck with everything else? You can forget assisted living- I'm broke now thanks to that mother of mine- 61 with less than 10K to my name- its all gone-gone- so if anything it will be a welfare nursing home for this girl. What do you think? I never had this adverse feeling for elders before, but having her now living near me has just weird-ed me out! So unlike me-to feel this way-it just keeps playing over and over.........Thanks mom, another thing I'm stuck with because of you. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.