Is it unusual that my spouse has become consistently angry and negative, no matter how hard I try? - AgingCare.com

Is it unusual that my spouse has become consistently angry and negative, no matter how hard I try?

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My husband had a TIA in June and has other health complications, mostly congestive heart failure. In recent months, if I'm gone anywhere for any length of time, he accuses me of having an affair. He calls the roll of family members and what's wrong about them. He says they don't care anything about him; that they won't come and see him. Who can blame them when he's so difficult to be around? Help!

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I seriously think his actions are a control method for keeping me "near." I don't know if he's afraid of being alone. I've explained to him how his actions caused our granddaughter's feelings to be hurt.
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My dad had a very serious stroke in his 80s. He was in a nursing home for rehab and was very nasty to the aides. They weren't getting to him fast enough, according to his expectations. My dad was a smart man and his thinking wasn't affected by the stroke. I finally had a conversation with him and told him that he was being stupid - that he wouldn't get faster help or better help by treating the underpaid aides like dirt. I told him you get more flies with honey than vinegar. He took what I said to heart and was much, much nicer to the staff and they treated him accordingly.

Maybe try an honest conversation with your husband about the effect of his negativity and how that's hurt people's feelings?
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No, all of this turmoil is fairly recent. We did see a neurologist after the TIA, and our new Primary Care doctor is supposed to specialize in geriatric patients.
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Has he been seen by a geriatric psychiatrist?
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My husband has always been a bit negative, but not to the point he is now. He puts on a good front for other people. Now he feels like nobody loves him, and the fact is, they really don't care about being around him because he's hurt their feelings.
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Grammy if he's had a TIA, his brain and his thinking could be affected. Or he could be depressed. Has his life dramatically changed after his TIA? Is he able to be out and around other people at all? Could you get him to the doctor for a neurological work-up?

Folks with dementia have some of the symptoms your husband is showing (negativity, paranoia). Tell us more about his life before and after his TIA and you'll get better answers.
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