Moving Mom with dementia into an AL. Is it the right thing to do? - AgingCare.com

Moving Mom with dementia into an AL. Is it the right thing to do?

Follow
Share

In a couple weeks we are moving my mom with dememita from Florida to Illinois. She lives alone and all of her family lives in Illinois. Her dementia has progress to the point where she is paranoid thinking people are breaking in a stealing things. She is having hallucinations thinking people are staying at her house. She can no longer pay her bills , im doing that for her. She feels there is nothing wrong with her and wants to stay in Florida, so we have told
her she is just coming for a visit. I feel so guilty doing this. I keep thinking she should live with me but I know that would be difficult for both of us. I feel guilty not telling her what we are doing.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
4

Answers

Show:
Sue123, It sounds like you have given this a lot of thought and decided to move your mom. Trust your instincts. This is not easy, but neither is leaving her as she is. Dementia is unpredictable. I left my parents house tonight after a pleasant evening. The night nurse just phoned me at my home to inform me that mother's behavior became irrational. Mother closed my 90 year old father in her room and became hostile when the nurse attempted to check on him. He has parkinsons, is on a feeding tube, and has dementia. She has Alzheimers. Three years ago they were both independent and doing fine. My life is now on hold. I would not wish this on you. I am too exhausted to write more tonight. I know you will make the right decision. Hugs and prayers.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Sue, is she still in her own home or in care there? Does she have friends that she gets together with and does fun things? I know I would think more than twice about moving my mom if she was happy with her life. A move is a tremendous strain especially on those with dementia and a move will very likely cause further decline and progression in her dementia. Have you considered other options to allow her to stay in Florida? One being to find a Geriatric Care Manager to assist, check in on Mom occasionally. And the difference in climate, especially the winters is going to be very difficult for her. Think more than twice before you do this.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Thank you for your response.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

You are doing the right thing. It will be an adjustment for her but at this stage of dementia memory care is what's needed. My dads dementia is progressing and I won't hesitate to beg borrow fib lie whatever, to get him in care when it's time. Hopefully she'll be near enough for you to visit. Hang tough with this. You doing nothing that thousands of others haven't done to make sure elders are cared for.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Related
Questions