I am soon to be 28 years old in May and I suffer from Depression, Stress, and Anxiety (all diagnosed by my doctor). I was self appointed a Caregiver to my Grandfather after my Grandmother had passed from pancreatic cancer as her last will and Testament.
It has been 2 to 3 years since then and I just had about enough of my current situation I find myself in. I currently find myself being trapped and unable to get myself Financially Stable to be able to support myself if anything were to happen to my Grandfather, who currently pays the rent, light bill, car insurance of the car that he practically "gave to me" since he can no longer drive it, and sometimes buys groceries for the house when I'm unable to financially.
I try my best to make sure to take care if his needs, no matter how selfish they may be; Ex. Going to Whataburger late at night for his midnight snack or doing something last minute before I head off to work or last-minute in general when I've made time sensitive plans. As well as taking care of my own needs, like my bills and other issues, etc.
It has gotten to the point that this living situation is getting hard on me as I feel like I'm not truly being an "Adult" and handling my issues (work, money, etc.)as an "Adult" should, as far as not having to pay rent, car insurance, and a light bill. And I keep getting reminded of this fact when I try to vent or explain how overwhelmed I feel when expressing these feels to my own mother or blatantly disregarded when I express it to my Grandfather. ( whenever he has his selfish Fitz, I get disregarded with, " I heard it all before, I don't want to hear that.")
I feel so tired, overwhelmed, stressed, underappreciated just because I don't pay certain bills in the house mainly because my measly paycheck can't even cover it and then try to pay my own bills. I've lost two of my job because I was taking care of my grandparents ( I've lost the second job because of covid and my grandfather's COPD emergencies and my Depression episodes.) And the current job I was lucky to get because of my brother is only enough for me to pay my bills because I was denied unemployment.
The way how things are is awful. My own mental health and physical health is at a terrible status, especially when one of my doctor had warned me of my stress levels being dangerously High to the point of having a brain aneurysm if I don't find a way to alleviate my stress.
And at this point, I don't know if it's my Depression getting worst because of the stress, but I just want ever thing to just stop. Because I'm so tired of thinking, having mood swings, being in pain and suffering like this. But all I hear from my Grandfather and my mother is that "I'm Lazy, and I'm not doing anything worthwhile because I don't pay rent, a light bill, and car insurance.
It really does feel like I have no emotional support.... And that just makes me feel Iike I shouldn't even be here then. You know, since I'm lazy and all that. What's the point? I basically just resent them both now. And I resent myself for putting my trust in them to have my back when things got hard to do everything on my own. While trying to get my life in order.