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My grandma lives with me and my mom in my mom's house. I am not getting paid to be Grandma's caregiver and Grandma gives us $300 per month to cover her expenses (groceries, incontinence supplies, her heating costs, crossword puzzles, medications, etc.).


Because my desktop computer has to be upstairs and Grandma is downstairs, I often have to spend time away from her. There are things I need to do on the computer and because my internet is insanely slow, it takes up a lot more time than what it should. I do not have any mobile devices other than an ancient flip phone.


Additionally, I often get bored sitting in the living room with Grandma. Her game shows bore me because I've seen them all before (some I've seen many times before) and I can't watch anything I like because it's either inappropriate for her or she can't follow the plot. I've tried working puzzles (crossword, sudoku, etc.) but I end up getting agitated after a while. Often times, Grandma becomes annoying, particularly after supper. Either she'll talk non-stop (annoying if you're trying to work a hard puzzle) or she'll make annoying sounds. I've often stomped out of the room in total frustration. I have no idea if she's aware she's making those sounds or not. I can't believe anything she says.


I'll also point out that I often hear Grandma making sounds when I'm upstairs using the computer. The floors and walls are so thin. I can hear her coughing and crying/whimpering (not sure what that's about). It's very distracting and it makes it hard to concentrate. I often get annoyed because I can't put on headphones or anything to block the sound because I need to be able to hear her in case she calls me. I've tried having her use an intercom, but she won't use it. She wouldn't use the loud bell either.


Since I'm not getting paid and I had no idea Grandma was so annoying (she did not make annoying sounds before she moved in), I'd really like it if Grandma would buy me a laptop computer so that I can spend more time with her without me being bored and frustrated. I figure that if I'm sitting with her using the laptop and she starts making noises, I can just put on headphones. If she needs me and I can't hear her, she can just wave at me. Plus, with a laptop, I can show her family pictures, get her to help me with our family tree and history (using websites) and maybe help her play an online card game with her sister. I think it would make a huge difference in Grandma's happiness because I'd be spending a lot more time with her - she HATES being alone. I figure I would spend anywhere from four to eight hours a day with her versus the 20 minutes to three hours she usually gets.


Would it be wrong for me to ask the POA for a laptop computer? It doesn't have to be fancy. I figure it will cost between $400-$700 depending on a number of things. If Grandma didn't live with me, I would have no use for a laptop, so I don't think I should be the one to pay for it. Opinions?

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Why don't you have a job and your mother take care of her mother?
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Gift? No. She should not be giving money away, but using it for her own needs. Payment? Certainly! Even Medicaid understands that elders need to pay for their food, and shelter, and care.

You don't need gifts or charity from your grandmother. You should simply be paid for your time and effort with her.
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What game shows?
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How old are you mejjy11? If you are a minor or young adult I wonder why you are not in school, if you are older I wonder why you are not working?
Your grandmother's income has to be much more than the tiny amount she pays toward her keep, if your grandmother truly needs a caregiver and caregiving is your full time job she should be expected to pay you for it, not in gifts but in a reasonable salary.
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mejjy11, before you go out and purchase a laptop, does your Mom's house have WiFi connection or some type of other connection so that you would be able to use a laptop? If not, is there any way you could set up your desk top computer downstairs in the same room where your Grandmother tends to sit?

It is great that Grandmother is giving your Mom $300 a month to help with expenses, as so many elders who not contribute to the household expenses. It would be up to the financial Power of Attorney to see if Grandmother could budget for a laptop computer.

Just be careful, while Grandmother is watching her favorite shows, the clicking from you typing on your laptop might be annoying to Grandmother :P
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Try to find a good afordable laptop between 400 and 600 dollars, with a lot of gigabytes so you can put of things like pictures and music on it.
-All the best
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Sounds like you and Grandma are stuck in a timewarp and getting on each other's nerves. You're bored, she's bored. Talk to her about buying the laptop and "investing" in her care. If that doesn't work, there's nothing wrong with asking to be paid. Or asking for the laptop period. You've earned it.
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It would be much better to negotiate a reasonable rate with the POA for watching your grandmother.
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It sounds to me like Grandma is on your last nerve and the money for a new laptop is just part of it. Does Grandma need supervision 27/7? Does your mom pitch in? Maybe the money could better be spent hiring a home health aide who could come in to give you a chance to reconnect with the outside world.

My husband is bedridden, and when he’s not asleep, he is watching the same reruns of 30 and 40 year old shows over and over. I know there are times I get so annoyed I have to bite my tongue to keep from popping off.

Get out for a while whenever you can. If you’re doing this for free, you deserve it.
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It can't hurt to ask. Just give the POA the same reason you gave me. Even a tablet would do I would think. Just a question, why aren't you being paid? What ur Mom receives doesn't cover the time you r with GMa. By caring for her its keeping you from finding employment. If POA turns u down, I would ask Mom to negotiate a small salary for you. Then u can purchase ur own laptop and have some pocket money.
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