My mother is 68 and has lived with my husband and I for almost five years now. When she first moved in, we were dealing with TIA strokes every few months, she needed carotid artery surgery, she had some kind of seizure and was passing out from low blood pressure. I made sure I took care of her and got her health in order. I got her to quit smoking and start exercising; she hasn't had a stroke in three years or any passing out spells in over a year at least.
I do not ask much of her around the house, just to do the dishes (which may get done every other day) and she feeds our dogs once a day. She pays us $210/month for rent to help out with expenses, which does not really go far. I take her to all of her doctors appointments, grocery store, pharmacy and the YMCA three times a week. I usually cook for her, although she goes behind me and makes something else.
I have a 19 month old daughter, who I stay home with and was breastfed so nobody else has had to give her a bottle. I do pretty much everything for her, except for times she wants to go play in her room upstairs so my mom will go in there with her. I ask my mom every so often to help me get a meal ready for her or play with her while I cook dinner. I change 95% of her diapers and will not ask her to do it.
When I have asked my mother to watch her, so I can have a date night with my husband or we wanted to go to a football game I am met with contempt and anger. I am constantly being told that I am putting her out or I am ungrateful and take advantage of her. Is it wrong to ask her to watch her granddaughter every so often? I am constantly doing stuff for everyone else that I think taking care of my husband and I's relationship should be important. Am I wrong? Should I hire a babysitter?