I really hate the fact that this is a small town with 2 lawyers, my mom used one of them for her will, to draw up DPOA papers for me and to put her house in a Life Estate. I tried getting advice from the lawyer she used, but I'm not sure he knows what he's doing. I talk to the other lawyer and he's not much better. I tried an out-of-town lawyer, now I think I might even need to go out-of-state to find a real Elder Law Attorney.
It's like this, I have to hire a lawyer when a lawyer clearly isn't worth it. The biggest complication, my mom is on Medicaid and it's like Medicaid doesn't know how Medicaid works. They have dozens of different offices in different towns across the state. Each office is staffed with 1 to 4 people. One town has at least 5 different buildings all marked Medicaid and they all do something different. My mom was already qualified for Medicaid Waiver for Home Care through the Area Agency on Aging. My mom went into the hospital and the hospital discharged her directly to the nursing home. They also set her up with AseraCare Hospice. They did not give me any choice what Hospice I wanted.
I do NOT like the nursing home my mom was sent to or the care she receives there. AseraCare doesn't seem to want to help me get my mom back home. I had a meeting with their social worker and nurse and they said it was in my mom's best interest to leave her in the nursing home. From what I've seen, they leave her in her room, they take forever to answer call lights and this morning they gave my mom a roommate even though when she was moved in they said she would have a private room. Now they are saying because she is on Medicaid she isn't guaranteed a private room.
Her social worker with the Agency on Aging doesn't have any answers for me and nobody with Medicaid has contacted me about her being in the nursing home.
I have a cousin who says it makes me look mentally unstable because I am talking to lawyer after lawyer when my mom's estate is barely worth anything. Everything that can be done has already been done for after she passes away, but I need help while she is still alive. I told AseraCare they have 2 weeks to get my mom moved out of the nursing home and they just blew me off. I need to know how to fire AseraCare and either get another Hospice or just get my mom out myself, maybe a lawyer could serve the nursing home with papers to have me mom released? The nursing home is locked down tighter than a drum due to COVID-19 and nobody gets in or out unless an employee unlocks the door.
Now as far as the hospice agency, you can fire them any time you see fit, although I would make sure that you have another agency lined up to take over before you do anything drastic. The advantage to having hospice involved with your mom and her care is that you will have extra sets of eyes on your mom, and they are required by law to report any abuse or lack of care by the facility.
So quit driving yourself crazy with talking to all these lawyers, and trying to bring mom home. You know that she is where she needs to be, so just try and enjoy whatever time you have left with her, because as you know, if she's under hospice care, she doesn't have all that much time left.
Now you want to bring her back home? That doesn't make any sense to me. You yourself have said that she can't be at home without 24/7 care, which you can't give to her; you couldn't find enough aides to help out.
If you can't get into the facility to see mom, then how do you know that her care is inadequate? Because she has a roommate? Because they take too long - in your estimation - to answer a call? Do you really think she'll get better care once she's home, when you've already said that you were burnt out taking care of her and having fits with the health aid agencies?
Mom is now placed and on hospice. If I were in your shoes, I would visit as much as I could and try to make her remaining time as comfortable as possible, while working with her NH to try and address the most serious of your complaints. Because I don't think it's going to be better for either you OR mom if she comes back home.