Yes, it's totally normal for people with dementia to have perfectly normal, lucid days and then other days where they're totally off the rails. For us, that's one of the worst aspects of the condition: the not knowing WHAT we're going to find in terms of behavior from one day to the next; sometimes from one hour to the next. Regardless of 'what type' of dementia your loved one has, changing behavior goes along with the territory.
The 36 Hour Day is a good reference book to refer to on a wide variety of topics; very handy in general.
Best of luck with a hideous situation. My mother has advanced dementia and I HATE it with every ounce of my being.
I don't think dementia is a straight line of decline. It is more like a roller coaster. Good times and bad times. You just never know what you're going to get. Though both extremes progressively get worse.
I have this issue as well to the point where I almost test the waters with mum first thing in the morning to see if plans for the day are feasible thus I NEVER tell her about appointments or plans until 10 mins before!
Just to help us have more context about your situation: does you husband have a medical diagnosis of dementia/memory impairment? And if yes, do you know what kind he has? This is important because some dementias may be treated differently than others, different meds, different trajectories of disease progression, etc.
If he doesn't have a diagnosis, it would be important to get one, and also to discount other medical conditions that can produce dementia-like symptoms: brain tumor, head trauma, thyroid, kidney, liver, heart and lung problems, UTIs, chest infections, strokes.
If he has a diagnosis, there are many resources online:
Teepa Snow videos on YouTube (she is an expert that gives great explanations about what dementia is, how it creates the changes in our LOs and how to better engage with them as their disease progresses).
...and this forum's most important care topic of Burnout.
I'm hoping he has all his legal ducks in a row: has assigned you or one of his daughters as DPoA, has created an Advance Healthcare Directive (Living Will), etc. If none of this is in place, I strongly recommend this be done before his cognition worsens.
You should also educate yourself about Medicaid since so many financially responsible people live long enough to still need it at some point in their elder years. Even if you think you will never need it, never say never about it. It is important to preserve his ability to qualify *just in case* his health or caregiving needs take a turn into such territory as to require it. In many states the application's financial "look back" period can be 5 years, which causes many people to manage their LOs financial affairs in a way that delays or disqualifies them. I can't stress this enough: please educate yourself by investing in a professional Medicaid Planner for your state. You won't regret it.
I wish you much wisdom and peace in your heart as you provide hands-on, daily care for your husband.
The 36 Hour Day is a good reference book to refer to on a wide variety of topics; very handy in general.
Best of luck with a hideous situation. My mother has advanced dementia and I HATE it with every ounce of my being.
If he doesn't have a diagnosis, it would be important to get one, and also to discount other medical conditions that can produce dementia-like symptoms: brain tumor, head trauma, thyroid, kidney, liver, heart and lung problems, UTIs, chest infections, strokes.
If he has a diagnosis, there are many resources online:
Teepa Snow videos on YouTube (she is an expert that gives great explanations about what dementia is, how it creates the changes in our LOs and how to better engage with them as their disease progresses).
https://www.alzinfo.org/understand-alzheimers/dementia-vs-alzheimers/?gclid=EAIaIQobChMIz6e9p-6I9AIVWODICh2PrgCUEAAYBCAAEgJx6_D_BwE
...and this forum's most important care topic of Burnout.
I'm hoping he has all his legal ducks in a row: has assigned you or one of his daughters as DPoA, has created an Advance Healthcare Directive (Living Will), etc. If none of this is in place, I strongly recommend this be done before his cognition worsens.
You should also educate yourself about Medicaid since so many financially responsible people live long enough to still need it at some point in their elder years. Even if you think you will never need it, never say never about it. It is important to preserve his ability to qualify *just in case* his health or caregiving needs take a turn into such territory as to require it. In many states the application's financial "look back" period can be 5 years, which causes many people to manage their LOs financial affairs in a way that delays or disqualifies them. I can't stress this enough: please educate yourself by investing in a professional Medicaid Planner for your state. You won't regret it.
I wish you much wisdom and peace in your heart as you provide hands-on, daily care for your husband.