I take care of my mom and get very little help and I feel I have none to lean on or even talk about anything with! My husband and my 16 year old son and me live with my mom who has Alzheimer's. My husband pretty much hates me & just stays in bedroom all day all night. My 16 year old is spiraling out of control and my mom demands my attention. What have I done? Help. I have become someone I hate as well.

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First I'm sending u big lavender hug. Never ever hate yourself..Yes it's normal to feel lonely. Who makes all the decisions you. Who's responsible for their Mom? you. It's so hard!!!! like a lonely occupation. On your shoulders..It's frustrating and lonely. You have to have some me time. In as many spurts as u can get away with. Call a good friend or relative .A massage some music just getting some lunch and sitting somewhere pretty. Get your hair done .When I have a moment I really try hard to do something anything around some people. I walk my dog and see folks and sometimes talk a neighbors I call my cousin in Ohio or my Auntie's or go to the bookstore.. and of course Church all help me feel better..Even
getting my nails done I'm being touched and I feel better. I also have two sons one wild one.They are both very lovable and hug me alot. You should try your best to spend some time with your Son on any level that he can relate and too. Keep a eye on him I know it's alot and hard but all we can do is keep the faith be strong and move forward. Also I've been trying to better my self with healthier food and cut out my pitty party foods like rum raisin ice cream. And dip and chips.. I love to bake so I'm making healthy cookies. Watching youtube getting recipes ..make up tips Anything to help keep my mind off stressful issues in my home and to make myself stronger and pretty. Because strength is important too. And Valelia I will keep you in my prayers. Many blessings.
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ValeIia1313, I know the feeling, the day my mom was 1st diagnosed w/Dementia several years back; the doctors said to my brother and I that "she can no longer be alone for more than a few hours...I said I can stay there tonight" and my brother said "we can alternate". I stayed at my moms that night and basically went between my house, my moms and my business all day everyday for the next year. 3-4 days a week my brother and his wife would have my mom at their house to HELP watch their kids for 2 -3 hours (during weekdays, giving me a break-lol) and then bring her home after dinner time, without feeding her dinner. My brother actually told my daughter I was a crazy person and that my mom was fine alone at night (I think he may have been in denial at the time) and that I needed help. Unfortunately, being a caregiver can be very isolating and so many nights I just cried because nobody saw or inquired about the changes I was seeing on a daily basis, nor did they seem to care. So basically all we have as Care Givers to talk about is our Loved One (because we're always with them) and therefore, I think we tended to keep it to ourselves (at least for me). It can be a very stressful and depressing time and sometimes I don't want to be around me or anyone else due to being so overwhelmed. I doubt your husband hates you and hopefully you don't really hate you either but, rather hate the situation you've found yourself in with your mom. I think men deal or DON'T deal with issues much differently that we women do, which doesn't make it easier for us; it just is what it is. I don't know that any of this will make you feel any better but, please trust me YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!! This forum is great for support, but there are support groups available near you. Wishing you understanding, peace and love in your Journey.
Hugs & Love to you

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Misseverything Sep 2019
Floridagirl your wonderful and I totally agree with you Your right on so many levels. Nobody ever thought we would be in this kind of isolated lonely depressing situation with their loved one. I do hate the situation. And disease. I'm going on 9 years with my mom in this sad vortex of down hill behaviors it use to blow my mind. But I've read alot and talked to people in this forum. And calmed my self down..I don't know what I would do without it. And we are not alone period. So we do our best stay strong keep the faith and continue to up hold each other. Many blessings.
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