My husband’s dementia continues its daily thefts and I continue my daily reassessments of what is and is not mine to do. Our schedule, such as it is, is mostly around getting the ADL’s done. How much of my job as a caregiver is also about keeping him entertained? I haven’t found anything that works on that account.
I seem to be his only anchor to who he thinks he still is, so I try to be present with him as much as possible — moved my desk so we can be in the same room while I work on taxes, etc.. He looks to me for answers, direction, help, etc. But he also spends an inordinate amount of time sitting in his recliner, looking at junk mail, perusing magazines, reading the occasional Wall Street Journal article on his iPad, looking at his photos (some of which have mysteriously inserted porno poses into our family’s memory collection. He may comment on how interesting an article was, but of course is unable to tell me anything he read. He does not like cards, board games, jigsaw puzzles, brain teasers, etc. Watching TV together is mostly him staring at the screen in between dozes. He doesn’t seem to follow the storyline, but does seem to enjoy having something going on that accepts his attention without requiring anything of him in return.
My question is, how much social-director and activities planner do I really need to be? It is the MOST frustrating part of this process for me right now.