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My sister feels that since I was named POA that it is my job to drive my mother to where ever my sister wants her to be. She insists this is the job of a POA. For example, if she wants my mother to go to a holiday function at her home I MUST drive her because it is my job as POA. My mother cares for herself, lives on her own and handles all her financials. POA has not even been enforced since it does not need to be, but she still insists it is my job to drop everything, give up my holiday plans and drive my mother to her town for her function.

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Thank you all for you responses. Actually, I already knew the answer, however, after having another episode of hearing what I am "suppose to be doing as my job" I had enough and figured I would put it out there to hear the responses and see it in black and white. I do not go along with her craziness, actually I haven't had anything to do with her in many years and my life has been better because of it. This is just one example of what she comes up with on a regular basis and having other people's opinions is just helpful in my battle. Thanks again!
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Reply to JCMOM15
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Like 97's answer.

As a POA you don't "have" to care for your Mom. The financial responsibility gives you the ability to pay her bills, sell her home or car, etc. Medical to make decisions about her health when she can't. My Moms Med. POA read like a living will. What she did and did not want.

But, you don't have to become Moms caregiver. But you will need to keep Mom safe, clean, fed and cared for even if that means an AL or NH.

Just tell sister that POA does not make you a taxi. That if she needs Mom somewhere that you r not invited to, she needs to make arrangements to have Mom picked up. You do not give up your plans.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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Tell your sister that as POA you are assigning sister to take Mom on all outings. You might as well join in sisters fun of magical thinking.
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Reply to 97yroldmom
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Remind your sister that it is HER “JOB” as one of your mother’s children to help your mother. POA makes you responsible for legal decisions - it doesn’t make your mother your responsibility. She clearly feels jealous of you being “special” - reassure her that you won’t make major decisions without her input, but helping you with your mother’s basic needs is what sisters do.
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Reply to Slekker
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Has your sister read the POA?

What your sister "feels" is irrelevent. What's written down is what counts.
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Reply to BarbBrooklyn
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File this under Family dysfunction. "The Caregiver and dysfunctional families" is another interesting thread to read.

You are going to need some help dealing with narcissist sister, if she is one.

You do not believe what she tells you......maybe that would help.
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Reply to Sendhelp
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There are some resources more readily available than others for the elderly.
A caregiver/POA can arrange to have others help, and these chores can be less expensive than hiring caregivers to come in the home.

1) Transportation
2) Rides to medical appointments
3) Meals delivered

However, your sister is out of line ordering you around at all!
You will just have to learn to say no, I cannot possibly do that!
Keep listening to her and you will go c r a z y .
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Reply to Sendhelp
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No, Nope, Nadda.

Tell you sister to pound sand.

Now if you are invited to the holiday gathering at your isters, she could politely ask you to pick up Mum and bring her with you. But that has nothing at all to do with POA.
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Reply to Tothill
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LOL.
What other big whoppers has your sister tried to get you to believe over the years?
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Reply to cwillie
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Your sister has a really skewed sense of what Power of Attorney means. And you apparently are going along with it. You are only a taxi service if you allow yourself to be. As POA, you can make health care and financial decisions for her. You can also call Uber or Lyft. Tell your sister you have a cake in the oven and can’t leave to ferry Mom.
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Reply to Ahmijoy
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