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Dad has been in a home for about 4 months .when I first visited I would cry a lot . Than dad started going down hill and I would cry driving in , then at the home and then I would get in the car after and be shattered.

I would get upset for the other patients as well.

Dad is in his own world a lot of the time now , so I chat to the others and help them and just like to be with dad and give him love . I go in every 2 nd day .

So I am 50 and menopausal ...the doctor put me on antidepressant as I was not coping . Now I accept dad and feel calm , but no emotional outbreaks .

What I am asking is , do we go through a grieving process as we watch our loved ones decline and then we have acceptance and become stronger

Or has the zoloft just turned me into a zombie ?

Thanks for any advice

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I think you are probably OK. You have to accept the things you know you can't change and make the best of things, and now you can do it. It still sucks, but it doesn't hurt like a knife in the heart every day...sounds about right. Hugs!
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Thanks yeh we have to adapt
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This is perfectly normal I knew for years something was wrong with mum but when the diagnosis came I cried for about 2wks now ive accepted it and dont cry as much but have my moments this is the start of the greiving process spending as much time with your dad is all you can do now but crying is healthy if i didnt cry as much as i have id be locked up by now I feel for people who dont cry or some cant bottling up emotions is not good letting it out has to be better. So sorry for you as this is hard!
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you sound like a very sensitive person Do you have a close friend family member spiritual advisor you can talk to as you are coping with a lot right now also because it is so upsetting to visit him try limiting time like once every 4 days then wkly also be aware of side effects of zoloft best to you...
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I think it's perfectly normal. I'm a very emotional person and I started grieving how much my dad had changed when he was still in OK health. But he had become so different from when I was a kid. Our family's "lion" had lost his roar. But I eventually accepted it and was able to handle it when he went into hospice and passed away. It's not easy and there was lots of crying, but I think that's normal.
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It is both. You are coping better because you've come to accept the situation over time, and because your depression is under control.

(By the way, many women do experience depression during menopause, just as many women experience depression after giving birth. This is related to hormones, and even if a new mother has looked forward to this for a long time and has no distressing events to cope with, she can still be depressed. Being treated for the depression is much smarter than waiting for the hormones to level out, in my opinion.)

Do you feel like a zombie? Has anyone else mentioned that you don't seem yourself? If that or other unwanted side effects seem to be happening, go back to the prescribing doctor for a med adjustment. An antidepressant is not a "happy pill" and it should not turn you into a zombie. It should just make you feel like yourself, but yourself when you are coping normally.
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The Zoloft is working, you are not a zombie. Menopause is no picnic, it's like a very bad rollercoaster, and top that off with watching your parents get really old, your applecart will overturn. Accept the relief for what it is. Been there. Done that.
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In my experience on Zoloft, I still had my emotions, but they were much milder. The medication DOES work. After I got on Zoloft, I stopped crying over every little thing. When my mother died suddenly, I cried plenty. But I was able to accept it better for being medicated.

Sometimes I can be glad that she isn't suffering, and never had to wear depends. Sometimes I would be glad for her to suffer if I could have her back! Good thing it's not up to me.

Are there any Buffy fans here? Remember when her mother died?
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I have been on Zoloft for years and I will not go without it. Your crying is normal. Its been a almost 2 months since I had to put my sweet mother in a nursing home because I could not take care of her anymore. I still cry sometimes before I get there and after I leave. I worry about her constantly. When she is having a good day then my day is better. Just hang in there it will get easier.
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This topic could not have come at a better time. I've been working on the paperwork to get my mom on Medicaid for months and just got news that she has been accepted. So why am I so depressed?

I'm already on medication for Generalized Anxiety Disorder (that started about six years ago) and have a Daylight for Seasonal Affective Disorder, but I still have this overall feeling of dread and sadness that is so overwhelming some days that I can barely get anything done. I'm having a hard time sleeping and can't stop thinking about why I feel so upset when I keep telling myself that everything is fine.

It's partly the holiday season--five years ago this past August my sister was diagnosed with Colorectal Cancer, stage 4. She had surgery, chemo, and radiation but nothing helped. For both her last Thanksgiving and last Christmas, my family got together and put on a happy face but never really talked about the fact that she was dying. She passed away after eight days in hospice in February. I'm 52, so I'm sure hormones have a lot to do with it as well.

So here it is the week before Thanksgiving and my family is having a big get together in the town where my parents live. I don't even want to go.
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Well , thanks for all sharing .
Yes I have cut back from 100 mg to 50 mg and now feel better.

Some wonderful advice and good luck to everyone
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