Is it me? - AgingCare.com

Is it me?

Follow
Share

Drive father to visit his father at cemetary. He needles me about the route not being his route....
Belittles my joy in this journey.

God ...Help sooth my spirit..join my prayers for peace between us caregivers and our journey.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
7

Answers

Show:
" When they are giving you a hard time, it means they are HAVING a hard time. Someone here taught me that. Hate to say these words but I FORGOT who, sigh.
Their "hard time" usually boils down to frustration and loss of control. He can't drive himself, he can't remember the route....... Just think about how he is feeling , the next time he is criticizing you. Once you start understanding this, you won't take it so personally. I follow so many smart woman (and capt). Whoever gave me this advice, pls remind me. I want to thank you again.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Phyllis, I'm offering a counsel of perfection here because my mother winds me up beyond all reason about similar things too, but I think your stressful journey was just one more delightful prank that your father's dementia is playing on you. Not being able to recall a deeply ingrained route would have upset him a lot, and then being worried and upset they get snippy, and cranky, and huffy; and yes it would spoil the peaceful, reflective mood of the journey. It's a shame, and I'm sorry.

What I'd suggest might help, though, is regretting that you don't know his route, but as it's (hem-hem) temporarily slipped his mind he's not to worry, you'll work out the best way you can for now. And if he recalls his preferred route then he can be sure to let you know..! :)

If you were talking to an ordinary back-seat driver I'd completely agree with the 'my way or the highway/taxi cab' response; but he isn't doing that - he's having a sad and worrying time. Poor old boy. Yes, infuriating I know! - but still. Poor old boy.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

These are the type of things that make them still feel in control. It really isn't you. Ignore him.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

I understand - My own father always treated me this way. He died when I was 21 and I must say that I don't miss the mental stress. Has your father always been critical?
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

It is my father. Strangely enough I understand he has followed the same route for years only he can t recall it anymore.
I lost my focus and told him he can take a cab the next time and direct the driver to go whatever way he thinks is best. So sorry this relationship gets so strained. I feel like a loser for getting frustrated by some of his comments. Does this make me insecure in my relationship to him or in my own ability to put things in a proper perspective.
Thanks
Phyllis
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Who are you talking about? Is it your husband, a sibling? a friend?
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Peace to you. Healing thoughts. Does he complain about the way you park also?
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Related
Questions