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Can we consolidate all 3 posts of this person into one?
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LesleeB, to be married you need a marriage license. I assume that was the case when BIL married this woman. She is a wife. The title of this thread is very misleading calling her a home healthcare worker.

I was a fulltime caregiver for my husband. Nobody ever suggested I had to have a license to do that.

(There are at least two other posts by this OP, that explain the marriage arrangement. BIL is giving extravagant gifts to his wife. He is able to do this because of a huge financial settlement for the injury that requires him to have care.)
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In many states such as TN, licensing requirements forbid agencies from allowing caregivers to accept money and gifts from clients. Anyone who puts themself out for hire as a caregiver is required to be licensed or work for a licensed agency. So while you might not be able to do anything on the gifts, you can do something if the caregiver isn't licensed in a state that requires it.
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Private hire has its advantages.

I was a privately employed caregiver (no agency and no professional medical training) for an elderly lady for 3yrs. Her daughter and son-in-law hired me. They gave me a lovely gift each Christmas and a generous cash gift upon their loved one's death. Very dear and lovely people. The entire experience was a blessing.

My ex was an RN privately hired (before we met) by a wealthy man as his personal caregiver. The man, who had a terminal illness, paid him $50K up front and passed away less than a year after hiring him. The family wasn't happy about it, but he got to keep it all.
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Heard of a patient giving $500K to a caregiver! Wasn't illegal because she is still of sound mind, but the family is definitely not thrilled!! (even though she is worth over $20 million).
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You would have to check the caregiver's contract as far as it being illegal. However, it is definitely unethical. Good grief!
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He needs a lawyer.
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Our HomeHealth can take a "snack" but no gifts whatsoever.

Even if legal, it would be "wrong" as they are already being paid and don't really deserve to "gratuities" as it were.

But there are always 2 sides to every coin - is the caregiver doing things outside the realm of the job? ie shopping, cleaning, things like that?

I like what Mac124states as the reason you don't give caregivers 'extras' and it makes a lot of sense.
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Any gifts to non-family caregivers needs to be reported to the agency they work for which then is taxed through their payroll. IRS regulations. Most agencies don't allow them to accept gifts as it creates a lot of extra paperwork for them. Any "gifts" to others will bring issues if they have to apply for Medicaid.
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Wow. If the brother is legally competent, and was so when he married the caregiver, I don't know that there is much the OP can do. I assume, because she's asking the question in this forum, that talking to the brother got her nowhere and that's why she is looking to the legal system for assistance. She may need to go to probate/family court and get herself declared his guardian so he can be cared for properly, but that could be a steep climb with a wife in the picture, particularly if the brother refuses to testify against her.
This doesn't address the OP's situation, but as long as we're on the subject of gifts: At Christmas I gave each of my mom's caregivers a gift of cash, the amount being based on the number of hours each worked with my mom per week. Was I sorry! Each caregiver appreciated the gift very much and thanked me profusely, but one of them went to the others to compare amounts and it made for bad feeling among them. If I had to to do all over again, each one would get a box of candy, period.
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I would not care if it was a him or her..I would marry them to get gifts like that..;)
Any gifts would be counted if this person ever had to go on Medicare, it does not sound like that is a possibility but if the extortion..oops "gift giving" continues it is a possibility.
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Holy crud..can I marry her? Or him
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This OP asked this same question yesterday but in that post she gave details - you might want to check it out.


In summary - no agency, no training or experience. Began working 20 years ago and the OPs brother- a bedridden quadriplegic married the caregiver. Seems the OP believes she was in the U.S. illegally from Mexico.


Gifts include six brand new SUV’s and trucks, two houses, multiple credit cards and a partridge and a pear tree.

All the while wife is living with another man who fathered her four children and brother lives in a slum condition mobile home.
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Define extravagent? Our CG could not take money or gifts.. but mom still bought her a nice bathrobe.. and a gift cert to eat out.
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Illegal, as in "against the law", no.

Against company policy-definitely. Every agency has a limit ($10., $25., etc.) for gifts from patient to c/g.

Morally it is wrong as it is showing favoritism, taking advantage of the patient, giving gifts to get better care, etc., etc.

What was the value of the gifts given?
Does the patient have dementia?
It's a nice thought to want to give a caretaker something nice but it's a bad idea.
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Hwhitaker, I doubt there is a law regarding gift giving.... but there may be rules and regulations put forth by the caregiving Agency as to how expensive of a gift can a caregiver take. Check with the contract signed between the POA or patient and the Agency to see if there is any clause regarding gifts.

What type of "gifts" is the patient giving to the caregiver(s)? Is the patient of clear mind?

At Christmas time, I gave the numerous regular caregivers Target gift cards. The caregivers that were there on a regular daily basis I gave $100 cards. Some might think that is extravagant.
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Is she working for an agency then probably so. Check with her employer. If private that is a little harder. To me, its taking advantage of the patient. Morally I think it is wrong. Who is giving the caregiver the gifts?
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