Is it dementia if my mother is only mean to me?

True that dementia has a way of bringing out the sore spots in relationships. The rub is that you are the one putting in the valiant effort to keep your mom safe and in her own home. Try to find a good neurologist or psychiatrist that will balance out your mom's medications. Some patients keep getting angrier. You need to be sure she is safe, and part of that is keeping her calm and happy. You'd be surprised what just a small tweak in meds can change for the better.
I care for my mom and just had a General Doctor giving her meds. At a certain point seems nothing worked. I simply had to quit GUESSING...and a psychiatrist took her off one drug, had her take a current med at night instead of day and added 1/2 a tablet of another. She is a changed person. She's 87, active so I didn't want to over-drug her. That's what I mean.
Bless you on your journey!! Keep always in mind it really IS the disease.

Pamstegma.. I love your pragmatic contributions to the threads of mostly desperate needs of us. I can identify with Petsilove's situation except I was so very close to my dad when growing up. It was both my sisters that were the isolated ones, they were never treated kindly. However now, I'm the one who is isolated by my dad, I gave up my job, put everything else on hold to care for my dying father. Bit he resented my help and although I didn't see I was taking over, clearly that's what I was doing. I'm back in my own home now and he is still alive but deteriorating after 11 months. He won't even acknowledge my presence now and asks his girlfriend to tell me not to visit. So Petsilove, please take care and hold on to your dignity xx

Sorry for the spelling mistakes!

Reasonable people will not give her credit. I wonder why your daughter took her side. I guess she's too young to think better. Don't let it bother you. The important thing is that you're conscience is clear. Base your feelings on that.

Yes! She resents her loss of independence and control. She's in the early stages, early enough to know she is losing ground and angry about it. Since you are the closest, you get the abuse and blame for everything.
As for elder care, if you didn't get along growing up, you probably won't get along now. Once she takes this to the level of disrupting your relationship with your daughter, you are perfectly justified to move out.