For the past 25 years or so, Doreen has been a dear friend, housekeeper, and in the last couple years, caregiver for my grandparents. I think it started when my dad could tell that my grandmother in particular was having trouble doing daily activities without pain, and she didn't want help at the time, but I think he suggested Doreen, since she was already so familiar to them for so long. Since then, she has become a live-in for them, as their needs now require that. My grandfather fell several months ago and now needs much more intimate care though, so a man, Michael, is also in the house now to help him with more intimate activities. I am so happy that it's Doreen who has become their primary caregiver. Since they have already known and loved her like the daughter they never had for so many years. I was just wondering if this type of scenario is common for a longtime housekeeper to later become a caregiver when the person's needs start to require daily assistance. I think it may be the best case scenario outside of family.
That is why I suggest getting a housekeeper first, before more help is required.
Why assume Doreen was not paid properly in her changing role as caregiver?
Mollie just finished caring for one of my aunt's dear friends, too, until she went to assisted living. They were her employers, but they were family, too.
The fact that they knew and trusted her she sort of eased into the role of caregiver.
While all that is good be cautious make sure that she is not overstepping boundaries and she does not have access to financial information.
Be careful that your grandparents do not start "gifting" her items or money.
Has Michael been checked properly? Make sure that he also does not have access to sensitive info. (are "Doreen and Michael" related or know each other?)
And lastly I hope Doreen is being compensated properly as a live in caregiver.
*With my cautions I am sorry if I may have thrown a "wet blanket" on what is probably an ideal situation.
I would check out the legality of it. The federal government sees hired Caregivers as employees. Live-ins have rights too. Like any other employee they work 40 hrs a week with OT. You can't expect them to work 24/7.
And, what will happen to Doreen when your parents are no longer alive or need to be placed?
In my case, my mom is happy that her friend "E." comes 2 mornings a week. She chooses to forget that "E." was originally an every other week 'cleaning lady' 15 years ago. My mom will not consider 'hiring a stranger" to come into her home, and my other sibs/their kids are certain Mom will never accept anyone else.
E. is very happy with the time she spends with my mother, but is also very clear that she does not have any more time available (Has a variety of other similar jobs with committments to others.)
Just be aware that any CG arrangement can fall apart, or set up a situation where the elder will ONLY accept that particular CG.
From my experience as well as from comments on the forum I think that the gradually increasing needs of a housekeeper's clients can very often mean big hearted housekeepers end up being taken advantage of - In my opinion when you go from vacuuming and tidying to meal prep, to shopping, and then it morphs into personal care that's a whole different job requiring different skills, more time and a higher rate of pay.
I think that changing the dynamics of a housekeeper to caregiver is awesome and definitely a good idea for others looking for a caregiver.