Congrats that your father is 83 and I'm assuming never needed to go to the doctor! Your dad grew up in an age where when people went to the doctor- or to the hospital, they either got well or they died. If Dad is hardy and well, there is no reason to go to the doctor....why have him sit for hours in a waiting room exposed to sick people? I'd ask Dad what it was like when he last went to the doctor some 30 years ago....and ask him why he prefers not to go.Maybe something happened with him or to another person and he just made up his mind never to go back again. If he is of sound mind you can not force him to go- it's his choice. If he eats well and has a good quality of life why should he go? Some elders believe that aches and pains come from aging and that there is nothing that any doc can do to turn back time. I would ask him though if he has a living will and health care surrogate- if not, it's time to find out what his end of life wishes are. God Bless.
It is very common for the elderly to refuse medical care. I have worked in Long Term Care for over 27 years. Even the residents in facilities refuse care at times. A elderly person who has not needed to see a doctor in 30 years may fear finding out what is going on with his health now. Many would prefer not to know and therefore not to have to change. Unless he is having difficulties breathing, is losing a lot of weight or demonstrating other medical difficulties he most likely will not willingly go to the doctor now. If there are problems then appeal to his feelings about you instead of about him. Tell him you are concerned for him and it worries you. See if he will go to the doctor to make you feel better knowing he is well. If he is trying to stay in his home and is afraid he will have to go to a Nursing Home or Assisted Living ( I have run both kinds of facilities), let him know there are now Home Health Agencies that can help him at home to stay at home. Mostly you want him to be comfortable and pain free. That is all we can ask as we age. Good luck.
I totally agree with Nataly1 - if the man is 83 and still in good health, staying away from doctors doesn't seem to have hurt him. Unless you are concerned about something in particular about your father's health or the situation in which he lives, Dbaggaley77, I wouldn't worry; instead, maybe try to learn his secret. Has your father also avoided having his teeth and eyes checked? My father avoided dentists (after terrible experiences with one in the 1920's) and, in his later life, I imagine he had some poison seeping into his system from infected teeth but his body seemed to be able to deal with it. (Leukemia is what got him - probably caused by dealing with the chemicals he used for treating grain or spraying his grain crops for weeds. Farmers didn't realize how dangerous those chemicals were when they first came on the market). Anyway, Dbaggaley77, if your dad is happy and seems healthy at the age of 83, I would just keep a watchful eye on him but let him be at present. I don't think you could be considered a "neglectful person" doing that. It is great that you care.
I saw a bumper sticker on a big RV one time that said, "We're spending our grandchildren's inheritance". Your loved one may not wish to give the American Medical Industry the opportunity to suck his estate dry postponing his death. As long as he avoids going to the doctor, the medical industry has no access to his funds. And at 83, he may be ready for death when it is ready for him. You might discuss his belief system with him to learn why he has taken the stance on this issue that he has.
Good for your dad! My great-grandfather died at 95 without ever having seen a doctor, and his 2nd oldest daughter in her late 80s. I rarely go to a doc and am 50. I've been fortunate to have good health. Am I neglectful? Possibly. I have not had children who were depending on me, so I figured it was my call. I try to eat healthy and exercise. Likewise your dad no longer has dependents, so I think it's his call. It would be good to have the "what do I do if you're no longer able to make decisions?" talk with Dad, though. My great-grandpa had told the daughter he lived with not to take him to a doc or hospital, so she abided by that, and he died of pneumonia at home. May your dad have as peaceful a transition as he did.
My dad is 85, He has always hated Dr's. + medications (he takes none!). But he did go, several yrs. back, after pulling his achilles tendon (3 hrs a day of tennis) and he opted for rehab - NO operations. He still plays tennis. Something else was bothering him recently (he is sharp + knows his body) and he ended up being tested positive for prostate cancer - yes he accepted treatments. p.s. he's got a couple more false teeth fr. avoiding the dentist for yrs. He recently had a siatic nerve issue from heavy lawn work.-he saw many Dr's. - with no help, the problem went away with rest. He just gave up smoking after 60+ yrs--Too expensive for him. He is fine and yes, still playing 3 hrs. of tennis a day when someone is available to play with him. Each case is individual.
gmbyacht, this must be what attracted the gold digger to your dad. He is a going concern and seems to know what HE wants even if it isn't what YOU want for him. It was interesting to get this new picture of him and after seeing it, I would suggest you quit worrying about him and just get on with your own life. He is doing fine for an 85 year old!!!
Ics - just to clarify - this is my step dad-we've called him dad for years. Sorry for the confusion. He's not my real depilated drunk dad that married the gold digger. . I just wanted to respond to the question. And yes, I have gone on with my life and am happy with the family + friends I really have.
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