Is it appropriate to call adult protective services if both elderly parents refuse help?


My father has had a stroke and is in a wheelchair and now blind as a result of diabetes. My mother is the only caregiver for him, I live two hours away. They will not make repairs in the home there are electrical problems, mold, and damage to the ceiling a storage a result of a roof leak that has been repaired. They will not allow a nurse to come in to help. The mattress is destroyed but they will not replace it. They are able to afford the repairs and care necessary but refuse to allow me to help and we are barely able to come into the house with my children because she wants to leave right when we get there. They are hoarding clothes but not to the point where they cannot get through the House safely. I have tried numerous times to get help for them. I need help determining if it is time to call APS please

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I called APS out of concern fir my mom & care/lack of care for her. APS was very rude & wouldn't even listen to my concerns. She just kept asking if Mom is being abused right now!! I was trying to explain & get professional opinion but she wouldn't listen at all!! Not sure where to turn now out if concern for Mom.
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They do have neighbors but they have alienated everyone except one friend from high school who they call if they need help because he lives close by. He is also very concerned for them. I will be calling APS today to see what they can do to help Thank you for your responses
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How can it hurt?

Call APS, explain your worries, and ask their advice.

The worst that can happen is that your mother (correctly) suspects that you made the report. And? What if she does? Better she's temporarily livid with you than that something awful happens and you haven't done what you could to prevent it.

APS cannot force competent adults to do anything they don't want to do, but they can suggest ways of helping that your mother may find acceptable, and they can ensure that your father's welfare is not being neglected seeing that he is unable to help himself.

So have no fear. Put in a call as soon as you can.
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Do their neighbors if they have them, check up on them?
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