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Is it stealing from him?

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Are you in touch with either of your sisters? It seems to me that your first step, surely, should be to have a conversation with each of them and see what they have to say for themselves.

Easier one first: removing guns from the property of a person who has advancing dementia does not in itself seem like a bad idea. She ought to have told you about it, perhaps; if the guns are mentioned in your father's will as a legacy to your brother then that is where they need to end up; but for the time being I wouldn't jump to the conclusion that your sister simply helped herself to this property for her own gain. I expect she felt she was removing a hazard from the house. Or I'll bet that's what she tells you, anyway - and it is at least partly true.

Trickier but still worth doing is to speak to your other sister about the money she has, er, borrowed and ask her to explain. You can point out to her that all of this is on record, one way or another, and there is no possibility that she can just take the money and never hear about it again. This is her opportunity to come clean and also say how and when she plans to pay it back.

If your father's dementia is bad enough for him to have failed his driving test, it is appropriate for you to push yourself forward more in the decision-making processes. This isn't the same as bullying your father into doing what you want. He is reaching the stage where he *can't* make decisions and you have to do it for him, in his best interests, taking into account what you know about his preferences - that's what your DPOA is for.

The tiny house on your property sounds lovely; but there will come a time when your father will need 24/7 supervision. What's the plan for that?
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Reply to Countrymouse
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Sounds a lot like what my OB did. Sneak thief, really. Got the folks to take out a HUGE 2nd mortgage on their home for him to "invest" in his business, outright stole all the silver, coin collections--anything that wasn't nailed down.

If it feels like theft, it probably is. If it's upfront and everyone knows about it---but if it's under the table and sneaky--well, I would say that's theft.

Sadly, letting OB take them for all they were worth made my parent's "retirement dreams" move them to an apartment with another brother's family. Mother is alone now, and not happy at all with the situation, but she okayed the "loans".....so...she's stuck.

OB died about 6 years ago, never having paid back a dime. He's still mother's favorite. SMH.
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Reply to Midkid58
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if she's POA and needs the money to pay for his living expenses it's not illegal, but necessary. Caring for someone with Alzheimer's is very -- VERY--expensive. Nursing homes are actually cheaper than home care. if she's not POA..that's another matter. Keep his account locked out from her.
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Reply to cetude
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It might be worth considering a lawyer's 'frightener' letter to the nasty people, telling them that there may be legal consequences, both civil and criminal, if he is taken advantage of when not legally competent. One letter is cheap, and often effective.
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Reply to MargaretMcKen
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Adadslife, one major thing I would be very worried about is when the time comes for your Dad to sign up for Medicaid [which is different than Medicare}.

Medicaid will look back 5 years into Dad's financials, and they will see that Dad had been giving money, this is called "gifting". Thus Medicaid will add up this amount and subtract it from the cost they would have used for your Dad, example if Dad needs to go into a nursing home, Dad would need to be self pay for a while.
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Reply to freqflyer
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I believe she has been sneaking into his house taking money ,also she has borrowed a total of $4500 that my dad remembers. We have changed locks three times this time taken all the extra keys. His dr that he has been seeing for a year in a half says he has dementia. He lost his drivers license a couple months ago he failed all the stimulated test. I believe she waits until he has a really bad dad then takes advantage of him. My dad and his sister last year made me durable power of attorney she was helping me with my dad getting things in order then a month and a half ago died suddenly. she had borrowed money in June hasn’t paid a penny back yet. I also found out a couple weeks ago that my other sister talked him out of three guns that were auto go to my brother when my dad passes. Also my husband has built him a tiny house on our property for him to stay in with no cost to my dad he comes up stays for a week or two then goes home for a week his dr said he wanted him to move up with me so he has company and I can help him with everything my dad goes back in forth undecided so when the days I’m not around that’s when things happen and she uses him. I’m sorry I’m jumping everywhere a lot is going on is all I can say.
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Reply to Adadslife2018
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If she has no intention of paying it back it is stealing - the definition is "with the intention permanently to deprive" etc. It doesn't make any difference who she's taken the money from.

Even if she does intend to pay the money back, and gets round to it in the end, it is not necessarily against the law but it is unethical at best to "borrow" money from a person with Alzheimer's Disease. A person who is ill with dementia is not able to understand what is happening and give consent to the arrangement.

So, anyway: why do you ask? What has happened?
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Reply to Countrymouse
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It depends. Is your dad giving her the money or is she just taking it from an account?
Has your dad been declared legally incompetent? Early dementia patients are often considered to be competent legally.
If he is legally competent and he's voluntarily giving her the money, it is legal. If she is just taking it or giving it herself because she has power of attorney, that can be illegal.

Even if it isn't against the law, borrowing money from someone with dementia might cause a big problem for the family if the patient declines to a point where a nursing home is needed. If your dad doesn't have the money to pay for his living arrangements (and it can be more than $10,000 a month!) he may need to apply for Medicaid. The Medicaid application will look at how he spent his money for the past five years and if they think he gave it away as a gift, they can refuse to pay for a period of time. This can cause a huge problem for the family.

Have a talk with your dad. Ask him to give a responsible person the power of attorney for his financial matters. If he will do that, it may save your family a lot of trouble in the future.
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