What has your husband's being admitted to a nursing home got to do with your wanting (or not really wanting, I don't know) a divorce?
Ah - I see from your reply to an earlier comment that your concerns are financial. I don't mean to sound sniffy about that, I see nothing wrong with being practical about finances. [I agree that it is a wretchedly cynical world when money forces some couples apart, but that's a bigger, societal issue.]
I also see from your profile that you had a lot to struggle with even before, though; and you must feel as if you've been through the wringer.
Wouldn't it be a good idea to give yourself a little while to adjust, now that a large part of the burden has been taken off your shoulders, and see how you feel then? And meanwhile, consult a reputable attorney or similar professional who can help you figure out the relevant numbers and options.
Remember, not everyone is aware how Medicaid works. If more people understood it, some would have done things different. I think when setting up ur retirement, there should be a course u can take were it explains how Medicaid works and the pitfalls if you don't think before you give money away. What I learned, I learned from this site.
Saying that, maybe this person feels divorce is her only option to keep from being poor. Some people have gone thru their money before they realize they didn't have to as a Community Spouse.
From what I have observed, an attorney may very well advise you to divorce based on the finances only. However, the "community spouse" rule can protect your own finances, so look into it.
Note: I have a problem with a society, a culture, or any government agency, which instead of supporting marriage, leaves divorce as the most viable option.
I've seen a question like this only a few times here and each time it strikes me as a bit cruel for I wonder on what grounds do you plan to divorce him? Based on the symptoms of his health problems that are sending him to the nursing home? That's not a basis for divorce. What ever happened to "in sickness and divorce." Don't say that I don't understand for I've stood by my wife with her personality disorder mental problems she was first diagnosed in 1998.
Even if you somehow manage to get a divorce, half of everything is still his.
Iswean I have read on this forum that the community spouse is not left impoverished when the spouse needs Medicaid to pay for long term care. A regular poster (Igloo)who has a great deal of experience with Medicaid always suggests a NAELA or CELA certified elder law attorney to help with the application for Medicaid to protect the community spouse (you). Is your husband in the NH through Medicaid or on private pay? Did you help him or does he have a POA handling his affairs? Is he there for rehab only or to stay? It’s difficult for us to advise you more specifically without more information. Unless you want to leave him and marry another, it’s difficult to know how it would help you.
If your husband enters LTC you become the Community spouse. As such, your assets will be looked at and split between you. You then spend down his portion and apply for Medicaid when its gone. The Community spouse will not be made impoverished. Of course, every state is different as is every situation. I would find a Medicaid versed lawyer and see what your rights are. You will be allowed to remain in the house and have a car. Once you know how u would stand then u can look into divorce if u think that would be the better choice.
Not all states need grounds for divorce. Most are irreconcilable differences. No reason needed.
This would bring up the question of why. Because the nursing home cost would nibble away at that nest egg? Place hubby on Mediacid so government, the people, pay for his care?
Is hubby competent? If not no divorce won't help. If competent he would still get half of the assets and maybe even more.
Your best bet is to consult with an elder law attorney to plan for Medicaid. Medicaid allows the exemption of the home and one car from assets. One half of everything else is for his care. You could get with that attorney to plan for Medicaid and legally protect yourself as much as possible.
And don't start withdrawing money it will only come back to haunt you. Medicaid will recover that money or penalize hubby and not cover him for a period of time.
I mean.....it all depends......but generally no, going in to a nursing home isn’t grounds for a divorce. It would explain why you are even considering a divorce....
What has your husband's being admitted to a nursing home got to do with your wanting (or not really wanting, I don't know) a divorce?
Ah - I see from your reply to an earlier comment that your concerns are financial. I don't mean to sound sniffy about that, I see nothing wrong with being practical about finances. [I agree that it is a wretchedly cynical world when money forces some couples apart, but that's a bigger, societal issue.]
I also see from your profile that you had a lot to struggle with even before, though; and you must feel as if you've been through the wringer.
Wouldn't it be a good idea to give yourself a little while to adjust, now that a large part of the burden has been taken off your shoulders, and see how you feel then? And meanwhile, consult a reputable attorney or similar professional who can help you figure out the relevant numbers and options.
Saying that, maybe this person feels divorce is her only option to keep from being poor. Some people have gone thru their money before they realize they didn't have to as a Community Spouse.
However, the "community spouse" rule can protect your own finances, so look into it.
Note: I have a problem with a society, a culture, or any government agency, which instead of supporting marriage, leaves divorce as the most viable option.
Please do not misunderstand what I said.
I would not advise divorce, even for financial reasons.
An attorney might, but I am against this.
That is what I thought I said.
"However" means, instead of divorce, look into the "community spouse rule"
described on this forum, so many times.
As others had mentioned, you need to see an "Elder Law Attorney" to see what advice he/she would give.
Your relationship will change now that he is in a nursing home.
Some of the pressures on you may decrease. Or, just be different.
Emotionally you must have been going through the hardest time in your marriage.
Are you worried about the finances, or other things?
Even if you somehow manage to get a divorce, half of everything is still his.
Or, were you using a play on words: "In sickness and in divorce"??
I am a christian who believes in "in sickness and in health" as a commitment.
I have read on this forum that the community spouse is not left impoverished when the spouse needs Medicaid to pay for long term care.
A regular poster (Igloo)who has a great deal of experience with Medicaid always suggests a NAELA or CELA certified elder law attorney to help with the application for Medicaid to protect the community spouse (you).
Is your husband in the NH through Medicaid or on private pay? Did you help him or does he have a POA handling his affairs? Is he there for rehab only or to stay? It’s difficult for us to advise you more specifically without more information.
Unless you want to leave him and marry another, it’s difficult to know how it would help you.
Once you know how u would stand then u can look into divorce if u think that would be the better choice.
This would bring up the question of why. Because the nursing home cost would nibble away at that nest egg? Place hubby on Mediacid so government, the people, pay for his care?
Is hubby competent? If not no divorce won't help. If competent he would still get half of the assets and maybe even more.
Your best bet is to consult with an elder law attorney to plan for Medicaid. Medicaid allows the exemption of the home and one car from assets. One half of everything else is for his care. You could get with that attorney to plan for Medicaid and legally protect yourself as much as possible.
And don't start withdrawing money it will only come back to haunt you. Medicaid will recover that money or penalize hubby and not cover him for a period of time.