Is it a wise decision to give up having children when my mother is very dependent on me financially?

Technically, the window is open for you to have kids and it won't be closed for another decade.

I just hope I don't have to make such a call myself. I hope to be a father one day. If I don't have or expect any kids when this decade ends and regardless if I'm married or not, I'm not having kids.

stop enabling your mother. Your first responsibility is to yourself and your family, IF you decide to have children, that is up to you not your mother. Stop sending money to her. She is and "adult" not a child!

You don't say if you're a son or a daughter. The reason it makes a difference to planning your family is largely to do with time - sons have more leeway.

That said, it isn't the issue.

The issue is that you have GOT to stop allowing someone with your mother's world view to influence decisions you make for yourself.

Has your mother never worked, has she ever made herself useful in any sphere of life besides producing two children? If you really care about her and her mental health and her fulfilment as a person, wean her off the dependency and find her something to do - preferably something that at least improves her financial situation, so that she isn't infantilized for the rest of her life.

I hesitate to impose a 21st century Western European perspective on you or her. It may be that there is actually some prestige involved in her being privileged never to work, never to pay her own way, to have raised children who are willing to make very significant sacrifices for her benefit; and it's certainly not for me to judge.

But it is for you to judge what makes sense in your life. You, not her.

You sound like you are the responsible one. You have a right to make a life of your own. Have you discussed children with your husband? This has to be a joint decision about if and when you have children. Husbands sometimes are very helpful with children and home responsibilities. Also discuss your mother's situation with him. The 2 of you have to act as a team to make long term decisions. At 52, it's not clear why your mother is dependent on you and your sister. If she can, she should be working and be independent. If she cannot work, you and she should speak to a local social worker to learn her options and to help her plan for her present and future. She needs to have her paperwork in order with powers of attorney for medical and financial matters, a living will with her advance medical directives, and a will if she has assets (which it sounds like she doesn't). It will be up to you to decide on your own boundaries with your mother. Then have a discussion with her to let her know how much you can help her, given your own responsibilities to your marriage. Seek counseling for yourself if you have difficulties drawing boundaries for yourself. All the best to you and your husband and mother!

Your mother is not your problem and she only will be if you make it your problem. If you want children have them. It’s OK if you walk away from your mother and tell her it’s time you take care of yourself.

I believe Starbucks is a good beginner job and she can get benefits. And you can stop by see her when you need a coffee break!!!!!!!