Is it a criminal offense for someone to be verbally & mentally abusive to their sick husband and overall refuse to care for them?

Sounds like burnout

Maybe place them both ...one in memory care & the other in assisted living? Wife too stressed to do the very demanding stressful job of care giving. Or perhaps get home health Aides? Caregiving a very Stressful, demanding thankless job e even for a younger more energetic person. Get wife respite care soon. Hugs 🤗

You need to call APS. They can investigate and evaluate the situation. Probably will have to wait until the Virus thing is over.

Johnna, is there any way for you to get the wife to see her primary doctor have a test for Urinary Tract Infection? Sometimes in older folks, such an infection can cause all types of issues, such as verbal and mental abusive.

Johnna, have you considered that the wife has dementia? Either way, you are in a position to advocate for the husband, if you wish. I would contact APS to report the abuse and get them on their radar. If it's bad enough they might remove him from the home sooner rather than later. They can get guardianship over both of them and they will both be cared for by the county. Once you contact social services you will need to find other accommodations. If they owe you any money for your services, make sure you get paid or submit an invoice. I wish you well and a less stressed future.