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She is 90 but still knows everyone. She is not getting out, but she loves when she comes to family things no matter how big or how small. She still lives alone.

A relative of mine has her dad bring her mom over for all gatherings, and it works out fine, as far as I can see. Everyone knows her limitations (can't really speak coherently and can become fixated on moving things around) and does their best to gently engage with her, redirect her when needed, etc. I know my relative can get a little stressed out at times but wants to include her mom and I am glad she does.
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Reply to SnoopyLove
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Take her! Plan for her comfort, and have an "escape" plan for if she gets tired, but take her!

Being responsible for her may curtail your own enjoyment, but you'll have many more reunions to enjoy. This is a wonderful gift for her.

At one point during a large family reunion in a community center my husband told me he was going to the car. I checked on him periodically, made sure he had the windows open, the shade screen up, etc., but just let him rest. He absolutely loved being there, but he also knew his own limitations that day. If your loved-one is not that self-aware you'll have to keep a closer eye on her. The fact that she manages to live alone tells me she can handle attending a party!

She will probably be quite tired for a few days. So what?
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Reply to jeannegibbs
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My husband absolutely refused that his mom join my family for thanksgiving and Christmas, he was under the impression that we would make a joke of her and I just thought she'd enjoy being with other people she was familiar with and have a good time and dinner. Now it is too late, but maybe he'll feel differently this year. I say do it! But you know her better.
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Reply to Lostinthemix
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dfournier53, no, it's a good idea to take your mother to family events since she still enjoys them. I continued to take my dad to them for as long as he enjoyed going to them, along with his severe incontinence and even after he ceased to know most relatives. When he stopped enjoying them last year, I stopped taking him to them. Obviously, you'll have to plan and prepare for your attendance at any event around your mother's capabilities and tolerances and be ready to change your plans due to anything that can happen at them, but that's just life as we caregivers know it.
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Reply to bicycler
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Why not go? I don’t see the problem. Do others enjoy seeing her?
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Reply to 97yroldmom
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Hi dfournier,
I'd sure bring her, let her get her party on! As long as the commotion doesn't upset her. Let her get out and have a good time.
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Reply to Pepsee
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