Neighbor paying (50 yr old) $20 an hour to come in on weekends for companion ++care (meds transfer-tube fed-bath-laundry). 100% improvement in attitude (& healthier) and her dad gained 10lbs. He used to be horribly nasty and inappropriate but now cordial and mostly kind (due to caregiver). To me this is priceless but she plans to replace the caregiver with a $9 an hr. 20 yr old?
She can afford to spend the money but resents dad for past parenting mistakes.
Anxiety way down- quality of life for all -way up for $20 an hour is a bargain! (IMO)
But she doesn't want to 'spoil' him b/c he is 'undeserving'.
What do y'all think?
I think she will regret change later.

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Although you can see the train wreck approaching if your neighbour makes this change, it truly is not any of your business.
Helpful Answer (2)

Well , the past is exactly that. If dad was unpleasant before the 20 hr. Caregiver. Her care has improved his mental health along with the physical.
You may not get the quality of care at 9 hr. The work is very demanding.
Dads mental health may diminish and leave him unbearable again.
My prayers
Helpful Answer (2)

$20/hr. is reasonable.
If it is a neighbor, stay out of it. imo.

Well, the truth is, I would offer my advice. But that is just me.

Are you involved at all in the neighbor's life? And in what ways?

Or are you the caregiver being paid?
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It is, to me, all about what can be afforded. If you can afford the best person I cannot imagine not getting the best person. But that is me. And what she does isn't really my business unless she asks my advice.
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I absolutely would pay $20 dollars an hour for such a person whether they be 20 years old or 50. Great care is priceless!

With that being said, not every older person will provide great care. Our family reunion was this weekend. People from all over. The care provider, dad, and my sister thought it was a great idea to carry mom outside the home without a bra. Mom has a tendency to put her hand down her shirt (don't know if for comfort reasons or just habit) or raise it up.

Care provider mustard up the same old ponytail done every weekend. Not only that, from 11:30 to 5:00, mom sat in one spot (not pushed around to be social) and was not carried to the restroom (clean and wheelchair accessible). I am almost positive that she was soiled by the time she made it home.

Be the eye for your neighbor.
Helpful Answer (1)

If she has a POA she will be responsible for what ever happens. Even if this 20 year old does any type of abuse She will go to jail also. She needs to take care of him to the best of her ability. If she doesn't. Then she is no better than he was. She has the option of putting him in a home.
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I think that she needs to place dad in a facility. Punishing a parent when they have mental decline is abuse and the senior needs to be protected from this vindictive behavior.

Yeah, seriously her life is made easier and she is going to screw up a good thing because she can't get over past transgressions. She deserves everything she will get if she does this. You should tell her that she is cutting off her nose to spite her face. A 20 year old works for 9.00 hourly for a reason and quite frankly I have not met a responsible 20yo for a while. A grown man may not take so well to a kid bathing them or trying to control them.

You should keep an eye on him and call APS if you think that he is not being taken care of.
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