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My dad passed away from a heart attack not long ago he was 88 he went quick he's body shut down over 3 months would dad suffered any pain he didn't eat just slept all day,when he had the heart attack would he been in pain at that moment or would he have been pain free or heavy medication

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yes i live with mum she is very pushy and demanding like i sit to watch tv and she has a go at me if i go out she complain that i came home later so on and so on
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Dear Smithy, I'm so sorry for your loss. I have no answers about heart attacks, but I hope you find peace.
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Smithy I'm so sorry for what you are feeling. Everyone is right though. Please don't obsess about the details of your Dad's passing. Instead try to think about all the times when he was happy. Losing a loved one is never easy but he would want you to move on and be happy yourself and you can't do that if you stay stuck on this.

You are not annoying anyone. People here just think its better to help you move on rather than discussing details of something that can't be changed anyway.
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Smithy, I'm so sorry for your loss. Having lost my Daddy over 18 years ago now, O do know how hard it is to get over the loss...I don't know if you ever "get over" it...but I think the pain lessens as time passes. I currently care for my 90 year old Mama, and she sleeps a LOT...over the last few weeks, she seemed to go through a rapid decline, one of the hospice nurses told me she was most likely in the beginning phases of passing and I began preparing myself ....again...I also began rereading a lot of things I had read before and had spoken with one of the hospice nurses. While it is impossible to know exactly what was going on with your Dad at the time of his exact passing, it is my understanding that when we begin to stop eating, sleep most of the time, can't be roused easily to awaken, then our bodies are basically shutting down and the very shutting down is lessening the sensation of pain as we know it. I don't know. But I have to believe in my heart that your Dad was in the presence of angels and they were guiding him along and try to be at peace now knowing he has left this life and a body that was tired to continue. I do not know when I will lose my Mama, she has suddenly seemed to "recover" slightly but I know I need to remain prepared but am trying now to look at it as knowing when she goes she will be ok. It is going to hurt...I already know that...but it hurts knowing she is not happy as she once was being able to do all the things she loved to do.

Please don't leave us....my advice is maybe not even advice so much as just my feelings of what I have gone through, what I am going through, colored by my own perceptions of what I believe when we leave this life. Be kind to yourself...I don't believe any of us are alone when we pass...I think if we knew how very surrounded by total love and comfort we are then maybe we wouldn't fear death so much...At least that is what Mama has always told me...And Mama is always right.. :) (((hugs)))
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Smithy1968, what good does this answer do for your life, right now?
Either way. yes or no, what good would it do you to have an answer?
No good. The answer is that it would do you no good at all and there's nothing you can do to change it. The answer to that question is irrelevant to you and your life.

My father died of his 4th heart attack when I was 15. I was devastated.
I'm 43 now, and I still miss him more than I can tell you. He has now been gone longer than I actually knew him.

By perseverating on details like this, you are only keeping yourself stuck, reliving the pain over & over & over like it's going to have some other outcome one time. It won't bring him back to relive the trauma. Stop putting yourself through the trauma over & over.

You need to see someone about this. Everyone grieves their own way and it takes time. You don't get over it, but you stop torturing yourself with its intricacies and nuances. You have to train your brain not to do this and not to have these thought patterns. It takes purpose, effort, and work.

But you have to do it or you will become lost in that pit of despair and grief and miss your own life.

If you don't think you need to live your own life, then that's another reason to talk to a grief counsellor.
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You are in no way annoying!!! We've just noticed you are having a hard time with your fathers death. It took me quite awhile to get over my father's death and so I can relate. There are times I still wonder and mostly wish he'd find a way to let me know he was ok. It does take time smithy...

Tell us about your mother and why she's driving you nuts? What's going on with her? Does she live with you?

I'm sure we'd all agree we only wish to offer you supportive help.
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smithy1968, it is not about you "annoying" us ... it is just that we notice a pattern and are hoping you are healing. The hospice organization can point you to grief counseling and/or a grief support group. Would that be helpful for you?
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yes i am having a hard time finding peace as i am the only child and i have to deal with mum as well,and she is driving me mad,i guess it takes time,he was in nursing home i know he was on pills not sure what pills or type of care never saw the doctor and the nurses didn't really say much i will try not to annoy you thank you i just feel alone and have no family support
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Same thing I was wondering CM. This is the 5th or so post/question asked by the poster in regards to his father's death and it does appear he's having a hard time coming to terms.

I hope he finds peace within himself.
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We can't possibly answer your question, not knowing the circumstances of how your father was being medically treated. But what I would say is that I don't think this is a helpful point for you to dwell on. It is natural to wonder what happened, and to hope that your father's passing was peaceful and pain-free, and if he was in a hospice, hospital or nursing home setting I'm sure everything possible will have been done to help him.

It concerns me, though, that this is the thought that is uppermost in your mind. Are you having particular difficulty coming to terms with your father's passing? Be comforted. It does take a long time to adjust, and you should be as kind to yourself as you can about it.
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So sorry about your loss. When it comes to heart attacks, they vary so much from person to person, from male to female. Your Dad may or may not even known he had a heart attack, or it could have been a quick bout of pain. If your Dad was in hospice, chances are he could have been on pain meds.

My Dad had a heart attack and he said all he felt was his chest becoming very tight. He was doing volunteer work at a hospital when it happened, so he got very quick response. Don't know if he would have had pain if he had to wait for help.
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I can't make assumptions about your dad but my mom was on hospice taking morphine and her death was very peaceful. From my experience, 5 people on hospuce, they all died very peacefully and pain free. I am so sorry for your loss.
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or would he have been on morphine or drugs to make him at peace
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