Is depression normal the first week of transition to AL?

You can speak to mom's PCP and let him or her know that she seems depressed; what is suggested to help? My mom's PCP prescribed Wellbutrin which made a huge difference for her after she got sick & the depression set in afterward. You also have to give mom a chance to adjust to the ALF & the lifestyle. You may want to speak to the activities director *AD* to see what s/he suggests in the way of getting mom out of her room & involved in some activities, given the fact she's a loner. The AD at my mom's ALF would knock on the resident's doors to encourage them to come out & mingle, which had a good effect. The AD may be able to introduce her around to a few women and/or get her at a table for lunch/dinner with a couple of people just to break the ice and get them acquainted.

My parent's ALF also had a gorgeous garden which they both enjoyed strolling around; mom would push dad in his wheelchair on a nice day. Are there any trips scheduled at the ALF you can interest mom in going on? Even to the grocery store, just to get out........that's how she'll meet other residents and get talking.

Good luck!

I wouldn't go straight for the drugs myself. Ask the activities coordinator to engage your mom and bring her into the common area. Even if she doesn't participate, just being around others and watching them will help her mood.

When you think about it, making friends as an adult is really hard if you don't have a common situation with your new friends like kids, or the same workplace or hobby. Being elderly together isn't as easy as it seems, and by watching my mother (granted, in MC, not AL) I found that the residents did things side-by-side rather than "together" -- kind of like toddlers do.

My mother wasn't social either, but her caregivers brought her out to where the action was every single day. She was sad in her new digs, too, but she settled in without much effort after a couple of weeks.

Give her a little time and enlist the assistance of the people who work there before going for drugs.

Medication is for lingering depression that's out of whack with the person's circumstances. As a person who does take antidepressants and will have to my whole life I still get normal, appropriate sadness. If she remains depressed by all means consider medication, but it seems to me a period of mourning over her old life is appropriate to her circumstance right now.

There is a recognized emotional condition named Adjustment disorder with depressed mood. This is what your mother might be going through. Usually is temporary and will require no treatment. If the depressed mood become more intense and prolonged, then she might need antidepressants. Hopefully, she is only adjusting to her new environment.

If your mother is competant, encourage her to watch for someone else at the AL who might need her help getting situated or who needs encouragement in some way Your mother may not be thrilled with her new living situation, but she is learning the routine and could help a newer or shyer person adjust.

We moved to AL three months ago. I have my spouse and dog and still it is hard. You don’t have the jobs of living around which one organizes life usually-shopping, cooking, errands. It is all new. People are kind but…ask the staff about visiting. I would do it less often and not interfere with organized activities. Time your visits during downtime and later in the day. Our energy is short lived. Use hers for activities even if just observing. Our next move is the grave. It’s a lot to absorb. After 3 months we are just settling in, and we still have our own little family. In fact, lots of single ladies here are anxious to make contacts even with shy people. Do strongly encourage your Mom to participate. Lay a guilt trip on her, so you won’t worry, something like that. Encourage her, moves are hard. Of course, she is overwhelmed and very tired emotionally. It is probably a normal reaction. Believe me she is worried that she won’t manage. Be a positive coach. It will be ok. You believe it and she will. Do make the staff aware of your concern and observation in a pleasant way. Let them tell you whatnot most helpful. It is the old switchers. Now she is adjusting to the new school. Don’t let her feel you don’t believe she can manage.

I think Moxies reply below is great. Any kind of change hits the elderly very hard. My husband's aunt 93 is balking about two new caregivers joining her team and she lives in her own home!!!!!!!
My mother 86 did the same with a change in caregivers. Now she adores the ones she has.

Structure and schedules are a comfort to the elderly. Give her a few months but make the staff and management aware she seems depressed. They can work on getting her involved and making new friends.

Depression and Loneliness are signs of unhappiness. It is not normal. Humans have not evolved to live this way. What your mom needs is loving intimacy. Not in the conjugal sense of the term, but in its evolutionary meaning: The reflection of self-worth one sees in another's eyes.

That does not mean it won't be hard to care for her at home. But please realize that Dementia is not a disease. You should get ahold of Dr. Al Powers's book on the topic "Dementia Beyond Disease.".

We live in a culture totally unprepared for long-living elders. Our institutions demand all we can give but don't accommodate all we need. It will be worse for your generation. Steel the moment to reflect on what you want your children to learn from this.

Such a big change is disorienting even if one has chosen it, knows it's coming, etc. And two weeks is a very short time; your mom may be grieving her old life, her familiar routines, etc., which is quite normal and usually a passing thing. As you mom settles in she'll find her new rhythm. Now, if you are open to 'holistic' things, the Bach Flower Essences have a remedy good for transitions of any kind, new dwelling, new job, etc.: Walnut. The Essences were developed by a British physician back in the '30, all derived from plants/flowers. They are homeopathic, at extreme dilution, completely nontoxic. Original formulas use brandy as a preservative, but if alcohol is to be avoided the essences also come just in glycerin. The former Director of the National Institutes of Mental Health, a practicing psychiatrist, used them on his most psychotic patients, declaring, "You must help a patient deal with their emotions before they can begin to proceed in counseling," which is a very strong endorsement, imho. They come in a tincture, in small bottles, available at most natural food stores, some pharmacies; directions are on the bottle; they can even be put in one's personal water bottle so that each time a sip is taken the person is getting that support. All the best.

Msblcb: You could speak with your mother's PCP to see if a medication can help her. Best wishes.

Changes are difficult for seniors. And it's a difficult transition to go from being "independent" to being in a facility, which is much more structured with schedules, meals, activities, etc. Talk to her case worker at her facility about getting therapy for her, if she'll accept it. Also see if you can find out if she would just like to be alone most of the time. Does she have things to do if she is alone? They may be trying to get her to go to activities and to participate, which may not be what she wants. Then discuss her wishes with staff. All the best to you both.

My mom is a "loner", my dad is not. My dad had a stroke in November, was in rehab for 6 weeks and a care facility for three months. He is now home with caregivers after we built a wheelchair accessible bathroom. Mom had an accident a week ago and is now in rehab baulking at it. I listen to them both as if they are teenagers. I call it looking/listening sideways. I don't tell them what to do unless it is safety related. I ask which of three things would they like to do/eat/listen to/watch. Then I watch their individual reactions to the items and try to improve the choices I give.
Funny example...My dad loves Bingo, but baulked at continuing to go to the care facility's Bingo because they only paid out in chocolate. A caregiver and I took him to Bingo at the casino (I'd never been). The reaction was like a wakeup call. He was alert, he sat up straighter, he moved his wheelchair, he spoke clearer, he told the caregiver what he wanted or did not want, marked every card perfectly (as long as not too many cards LOL), all sorts of things like that. So the one caregiver takes him to Bingo at the casino every Thursday even though it costs money.
For my mom, we make sure to take books she likes to the rehab. She had just been to the library before her accident so we make sure she has two books. She gives one up and next day (visit) Dad brings her another. I made sure her friend groups knew where she was. She operates her phone just fine and chooses when to answer text or phone messages :-).
TV - find shows they like, post the dates and times where they can see them. Visit when it is time to see what is getting in the way of them watching.
Discussion - what did they have for lunch? who did they sit with? is there a "nurse" or "caregiver" they like? What did they like about the day? If there is something they could change, what would it be? (change this to be appropriate - change about the day, change about the bed or room or dresser or...) No "hot" buttons, just get person to talk. Ever talk to a teenager? no questions they can answer "yes" or "no" to LOL.
IF person likes card games, find out what they know and play. Crazy eight, Old Maid, 5 Crowns, Uno, Solitaire, anything! It will help.
IF person can use an electronic device, is there a game they like? What did they do before? Find a way to duplicate the fun thing.
So, when home, my mother is a "bear" and the caregivers and I talk about not poking the bear. House is much quieter without my mom there. It is three months since my dad came home and he is just now coming out of a depressed like state. He is still in a wheelchair, but doing more transfers on his own, caregivers focused on him.
At Christmas time and for his birthday, my dad was at a facility and lonely and COVID restrictions were not helping. I taped all the cards on the wall where he could see them in bed and roll to them in the wheelchair. People cared.
My mother-in-law's last days were at a home and we put string up and looped cards over so she could see them. Depressed? Sure, but the cards gave her something to look at, remember, ask about, stories of friends came out. Oh! and ask what she remembers about...[pick a good memory you have]. Then pick another. Pick her brain about things you want to know about.
Those are things I've done and tried. THANK YOU! just writing this helped me think of what to do my next trip (I live in OR and my parents in AZ).