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I live in PA and my 99 year old father lives 1 hr away also in PA in his own apartment. I'm having trouble getting him in assisted living. Today he had his 6th fall, he had 2 falls before this in rehab and they sent him home 2 days before thanksgiving. The nurse came the next day to check him and said he should be in a home because he can't get out of bed without help and he can't dress himself. So tell me how I can get him to assisted living? My husband and I are retired, I have my diabetic sister living with us now, she works and tries to help with dad when she can and my other siblings live out of state. None of us have funds to pay for assisted living, my dad has a small pension and SS, he has Medicare and Medicaid. When I spoke with medical staff at rehab about him going to rehab, they said it would cost at least $18,000 a month insurance would not pay for it. All indicators are that the State encourages in-home care by family and aids. He can get aids for 10 hrs a day but there are gaps during the day and evening and that's when he gets into trouble. He also refuses to wear adult diapers which adds to problems since we are constantly cleaning up after him and doing laundry. My grandchild at 3 yrs old doesn't give me this much trouble. I feel stuck, tired, angry, and I want to cry all the time! I have POA but not guardianship of my dad.

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He should be in a skilled nursing facility, covered by LTC Medicaid! Not Assisted Living! You do not pay your money for his care. The easiest method to place him in one is through the hospital, but since he lives alone, in your case it may be best to have the state take guardianship. Maybe contact APS and have them do a welfare check, they will see he needs more care and find the right placement for him. It is NOT your responsibility to do more for him than you are capable of. Financially, physically, and otherwise.
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Go for a nursing home, Medicaid if he qualifies monetarily, will cover this. He is beyond AL.

If necessary TT an Elder Attorney for more guidance.
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Your father sounds like a better candidate for Skilled Nursing and many of them DO accept Medicaid. Assisted Living takes private pay (never Medicare) and some DO take Medicaid, but you'd have to look into which ones and if they'd accept your dad with all of his issues. Assisted Living tends to be pickier about who they accept, and fall risks aren't high on the list.

In the meantime, you can purchase a garment for your dad which will prevent him from removing a Depends undergarment: Here is a link:

https://www.silverts.com/show.php/product/50920-mens-adaptive-alzheimers-anti-strip-jumpsuits-fits-up-to-3-xl-back-zip-jumpsuits-one-piece-adult-onesie-alzheimers-clothing/r-gps?gclid=Cj0KCQiAw4jvBRCJARIsAHYewPOpVCSCKgMkV-Gy_rw-_KDAem1K_iIiMpyVW2Zg_qXbz54lGcMozEUaAkQhEALw_wcB

Wearing a Depends brief is NOT a choice; he must do it, so Google 'Alzheimer's onesie garments' if the above link doesn't meet your needs. It sounds like dementia is at play here also, since he's refusing to wear adult briefs. At 99 years old, that does not come as a surprise. Sigh.

My mother has been in Assisted Living and now the Memory Care annex for the past 5 years and will be running out of money soon. I will apply for Medicaid and get her placed into Skilled Nursing when that happens. You can consult with an Elder Care attorney if you have questions; it's always a good idea.

Best of luck!
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